My daughter called yesterday to thank me for the Valentine. Remember I said I was going to send them? She wanted to know how the Craft Fair at the Big Red Barn we call the Palindrome (never-odd-or-even) went last weekend. I sent her a marvelous and weird pug wizard pin I'd found at the fair. You have to see this thing:
The Big Guy (@Denmarkguy) and I had an enchanting booth that did well by some standards the first day and the next day was a national holiday in the U.S. called The Superbowl and I recalled how once upon a time when I was still with the father of my children there were two seasons in my home:
- Football
2. Waiting for Football
My daughter thought it was odd that there would be a craft fair on this weekend of weekends and then we both laughed, because it's Port Townsend. The motto of this place is quite literally, "we're here, because we're not all there."
I'm not making that up. I wish I did, but there it is, the perfect segue way into what to do when the "what if" Wishing-Well bubbles up and threatens to flood your basement of dreams.
thinks
Fine, maybe not the perfect lead into this next ramble, because I never did think of that slogan or neglected to put it on a bumper sticker. But there are other "great ideas" and marvelous opportunities I didn't follow through on. But ... why?
(here's the Big Guy in our gift shop/gallery when it was flooded, October 11, 2017 ... because yes, that was a flooded basement of dreams)
It's in the "why".
In my practice, I call those "cover stories". The "why". I'll use myself as an example because I have plenty of clients who may choose to read from time to time, and their "why" is sacred. Mine? I can share.
When we opened our gallery, it was a slam dunk. No one in the history of all the world (or at least Port Townsend) put together such an amazing conglomeration of art and oddities in record breaking time. There's a story there, but from the moment we decided to go all in and get the place we felt charmed until that flood.
We never fully recovered. We point to that flood as the "why". But there's more there. There's the late night discussions about what we should do. What we could do. We worked with our friends, our community and then the owner of the store next to us passed away from breast cancer. That's just the tip of the why. But we always point to the flood as to WHY none of us recovered.
That flood is simply a moment in time we can point to so we do not have to engage with others about how all the shops in Undertown Port Townsend went bankrupt in three years. It's no one's business, our business. Not to mention all the declarations of innocence and words of unfault by the city who were in charge of drain maintenance, the building owner who might have told us of the random flooding, and on. And on.
Unfortunately, that tends to happen in our daily lives as well. Which is where a really good therapist, counselor or good old fashioned armchair psychology can help. Sitting inside "WHY" requires that we are ready to accept responsibility for our decisions. UGH!!!
Here, have a picture of the cupcakes I made for everyone when we reopened. Those were good cupcakes, with umbrellas. Because, you know ... rain happens.
My last blah-g post gave me the chance to engage in the comments (thank you!) and @nickydee posed some excellent questions as well as "perspective". A portion of that was about my certification as well as education. Furthermore, it allowed me to sit inside another "Why" and what truly inspired this post. I answered a question here: (it's a partial quote)
Naropa is really a step up, and no nonsense. Ten years ago they offered me a program that would have required both of us to move to Boulder, and while it would have given us on campus housing for couples as well as a small stipend, it was too much of a sacrifice at the time. I still had kids in College and a toddler grand child, with another on the way. I'm typing that out as much for you to read and for me to see, again.
It reinforces that I made the right decision, because from time to time I wonder. Oh, those "what ifs"...
Oh, those "what if's" indeed.
Some decisions are good ones. Some, not so good.
Becoming accountable for them though, that's the tough part of remembering how you ended up in the basement of dreams, flooded or otherwise.
Thank you for reading, please share your thoughts because I love comments and then take a minute to look at the community of #Silverbloggers and join us if you think you qualify. (If you think you qualify, you probably do!)