Have you been ignoring or ignored by someone before? Like you greet someone in the street and he just look right past you. Or being taken for granted by someone whom you’ve tried so hard to please? Or you’re in an event and you’re being treated by someone you know as if he doesn’t know you at all? Whether you’re in the side of ignoring or being ignored, but here’s the thing you should all need to know: Ignoring someone for a long time or completely is abusive, because not only it is cruel, rude, it also causes the same chemical reaction in the brain as physical injury. Being ignored can be the reason a person isolates themselves and at worst would cause mental illness. As human as we are we need interaction and stimulation.
Research has shown that the silent treatment, even if it’s brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same, regardless of whether the exclusion is by strangers, close friends or enemies.
The reason you are being ignored by someone can be because there is something wrong with you such as your behavior or there is nothing wrong with you at all. Here are some reasons why people ignore you:
• They just want to hurt you or punish you without visible bruising because of what you did.
• They don’t like your behavior.
• They want to use it as an excuse to avoid caring or end up your relationship.
• They are insecure about you and they love watching you in pain.
• They just want some space but don’t bother to tell you that.
Let us be very clear, I am not saying that people who ignore you is all bad. We have different struggles and experiences in life. Some may need our presence but there are some who is bothered by being around with people in times of problems.
Based on my experience and research I’ve created some healthy tips on how one should react when faced in these circumstances. Not only it gives you good feelings but it also enhances your relationship.
When people ignore you, don’t ignore them back. No problems can be solved by staying away from it. When somebody treats you rudely and you do it too, you’ve become a rude man as well. We shouldn’t be influence by anyone easily. We must not let other people change us to someone we shouldn’t. The reason you have to set in yourself is that “I will not ignore them back not because I need them, but because they need me.” More importantly, don’t ever read the perpetrators mind. It will only waste your time or even stressed you out, because some might take it as an advantage against you. However, it doesn’t mean you’ll stop caring at all. Make sure the other person knows that you care about them, and that you’ll be ready to listen when they’re ready to talk.
Some people ignore you because they just want some space but others ignores you to give you some hint that you’re worrying about something but hesitate to share it with you. Whatever reason he has in ignoring you, you still have to ask him. You shouldn’t ignore him back. If he still ignores you at that time then don’t force him to share it with you. Just wait until he is ready to tell you about it. As long as you make him feel that you’re always there ready to listen whatever he is going to say. On the other hand, if you are the one who keeps on ignoring someone, then you should end it earlier for good. Nothing good happens if we don’t speak up or share our thoughts about someone, because some might stop caring about you at all.
Smiling is Magical. If you want people to treat you nicely then be nice to them. Our smile can be a reason why we have a lot of friends. To see someone smiling at you brighten one’s mode. Believe it or not, you’ll soon believe me later your smile is actually contagious. Each time you smile at a person, their brain persuades them to return the favor. Even if you don’t feel like smiling because you are not happy at all, you’ll realize your smile is starting to make you feel happy. That is why it is magical not only you get the benefits but also those around you.
People hesitate to approach you because you look so intimidating to them. That is why a sincere greeting of smile can be a big help. It can be a source of courage for other people. It is a way of letting them know that you are always ready to listen to them.
Bitter Relationship. Some uses silent treatment as an excuse to end your relationship. He might not want to confront you with harsh words because it might make him look bad. He wanted to make you feel that he is the victim, yet he like watching you in pain. And in the end he will just leave you confused. If you’ve approached him and asked what is going on and he doesn’t respond to you back and you know your relationship is getting bitter, then he must be hiding something. Don’t ignore him but don’t let your guard down. Protect your heart above all else. Do something that would make you busy. It’s possible the relationship is unhealthy, and needs to end altogether. But if there are still chances to improve your current situation then you have to sort it out. Some perpetrator doesn’t want to tell what the problem is all about directly to the victim. Sometimes your other friends can be a big help. They are much more comfortable to talk with. So ask any of your close friends who is also closed to him to ask what the problem is. Then make up for it if you’re at fault. However, if there is nothing wrong with you at all, then end it in a way that is not regretful.
As a whole, don’t let anyone treat you like nobody because we are not born to be treated that way. Don’t keep on ignoring someone. Whether you like it or not the person still exist. Even if you avoid him, as so long as he exist it will just bring back the pain. Understand the situation and be patient enough. Set an effective communication with those people around you and establish that all the time. Don’t be selfish, instead understand both sides. Remember, nothing good happens if you keep your silence.
References: https://www.heysigmund.com/the-silent-treatment/
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/.../smiling-contagious-study_us
http://www.wsj.com/video/toilet-seat-to-the-silent-treatment-what-drives-couples-apart/B5833B9B-C610-48E9-B743-B3009C4AEBC9.html