Since childhood, I knew your name

but didn't pay much attention to your fame.

Everyone kept forcing you to my life

saying I should love you the way you do

How can I ever follow what they say

when your name is all I have as clue?

Yes, they say you are quite popular around

and that you are much better than how they make it sound,

that you are the people's best friend

on whom they can always count.

But why won't you be the first to approach

instead of hiding behind their boasts?

At least once a week I hear your name

because my grandma is your number one fan

She would read everyday for inside scoops

about your celebrity life and your next plans

She would urge us to sing your popular songs

almost everyday when I'm with her

Once a week, it will take all day long

and that frustrates me because I am not a singer.

All these years of my childhood memory of you

has gone away, stored deep like the ocean blue.

I learned to appreciate new things

and soon found out that I can actually sing

not for you though, but instead

of popular songs which are but not dead.

Like this amazing band named after beetles

whose music made a colorful impact on me

The words and lyrics make me want to love

and to be loved by my soulmate I am yet to see

Then I remembered you and their stories

like that band I said whose song title fits perfectly,

my memories of you suddenly floated like a yellow submarine,

yes, yellow because it just caught my full attention suddenly.

Now you look like a man who stepped out of your sea vehicle,

waving at me to come with you to the sea

and all I could think of and say to you was

"Are you crazy kidding me?!"

After all those years of anticipation

if you will ever give me any attention

has died down because of my suppression

of the feelings about you I never did mention.

I wanted to believe you exist and that you're true,

I tried my best to understand everything about you,

about the love you're giving me you said was pure

and that you'd do anything for me so sure.

When I finally succeeded in burying you down

here you come begging me to take you back.

This is such a very scary feeling for me since I know

with it comes doubt, fear, and confusion in a sack.

Can you finally see the tears down my cheek

because of this huge pressure making me sick?

If I take you back,

will you promise you will not lack

or do you like seeing me joked

in front of my friends whose laughs I choke?

The first time I truly understood "love" (part 1)

by doctor-irlo222