The Underrated Value of Communication with Oneself


People underestimate the power of communication, or should I say that it simply isn't a valued matter as much as it is widely used to control a lot of stuff almost always negatively in selfish motives. I remember realizing this force that is communication we hardly acknowledge back when I still majored in Communication Arts. It was a simple lecture, really; the professor was discussing different types of communication from intrapersonal to mass. From there I managed to grasp a certain concept I thought most people have come to terms with as well but unfortunately haven't.

Communication starts from within ourselves for a reason which is so that we could be in touch of how we are doing or to assess what is actually going on with our lives. People refuse to pay attention to this thing for so many reasons or more like excuses such as being too busy with work or school or "life" in general even. It is just sad, because to be honest life doesn't actually begin without our communication with ourselves that not only benefits our own systems but actually extends outwards to others and the whole universe even.

I encounter a lot of people, usually groups of people who whine a lot about their lives. It's not even sharing things about their lives, it's usually excessive complaining about things they consciously inflict upon themselves. They are the most expressive just like that for a reason, and that is because they lack that intrapersonal communication, thus they end up blurting everything out to peers who usually have the same poor intrapersonal communication problems. Now, going back to that memorable lecture I had two years ago, that exchange is merely an exchange of words; it doesn't really produce any communicative output. It just goes around, starts at nothing and ends with nothing at all.

This is the problem we never address, and it has been messing up ourselves and even the society in general without us noticing it until it has blown all over our faces like the prevalent fake news we discuss others like they were even worth the attention in the first place. I remember, once in my Arts Appreciation class, my professor said:

I just ask questions about your stand on this issue to simply inquire more about it then you just start taking back your statement. That shows how you yourself don't even believe your own belief.

It does sound like a mere statement about how some people do not have firm beliefs, but actually if we would look a little deeper into it and in this context of communication values, we would see how such lack of solidity in our stands is greatly caused by the fact that we have poor interpersonal communication skills. You see, if we are more in touch with our own thoughts and we actually take time to reflect on them just how intrapersonal communication works (maybe in the form of writing, talking to ourselves alone, etc.), then we will be able to grasp the weight of our beliefs and even question them ourselves so that when others do, we can stand by them or maybe go against them ourselves depending on how the self-evaluation goes.

I have no faith

I remember telling three professors that during an interview to get in this really great university in the Philippines. That was two years ago, approximately a month before I found myself sitting in a class listening to a lecture about communication. At that time, I was barely sure of where I was headed as I was asked by my mom to drop out of this university I was already happy in to transfer to that great university she had really wanted me to go to in the first place. What can I say, I guess it was she who just wanted it so badly because I failed the entrance examination despite the hard work I put in studying the entire summer, spending a lot of money on a review program before that examination when I could have been out on a beach or learning a new language. And what sucks is that I didn't dare to confront that whole issue because I was pressured by my mother.

It was just when I was already dropped out of this university I really love and had transferred to a new one that is neither that fun or great one that I realized all of it (still referring to that communication lecture). Then that's when I started putting things into perspective--that all I needed was that communication with myself, that check-up of how I really was with all those things going on around me and in my life.

From then on, I started building more meaningful rapports with every people I meet. I have developed a sense of value to proper communication. I never wasted time or effort talking to people just for the sake of talking, for I aimed to learn from them and for them to hopefully pick up something from my insights. I believe that when I started having such outlook in interaction in general, I became more stable emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically because I was no longer stressed by shallow and petty talks. I was absorbing more and more lessons and many other things about life I find using in many instances in my everyday life.

With a fruitful communication with our own thoughts, we are able to project our real self to others with them being accepting about it no matter how hard it may be to feel so, for we give off this energy of being unashamedly open to expressing ourselves outwards because we are also open to doing it within our own systems.

Imagine a world with individuals doing the same, coexisting and interacting with one another to build a progressive society.....


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