Could it be that what you are asking GOD to do in your life requires some breaking down of the walls you have built inside of you? Could it be that HE makes you to go through all of that to get you where HE wants you to be? Could it be that HE is preparing you to be able to handle what HE has for you in store?
Allow me to let you know that there has to be some breaking down in order for HIM to build you. It's not an easy process to go through but it's worth all the pain, tears, heartbreak... Unfortunately when you are in the process, it is hard to see that HE is doing that for our own good. However, I encourage you to choose to trust in HIM even though you might not see the way out of what you are going through.