It's a shame to write about this, but I want to say something. Not every day in life like this happens. I do not know if someone will understand me here, or they'll all blame me. But I'll take a chance.
I'm 32, dating on the Internet never attracted, it always seemed - could I, a normal man, a normal woman myself can not find without all these dating sites? But so I thought until last year, until I got a promotion and started working 12-15 hours a day. The day became so busy that I hardly managed to reach the weekend, and when all the friends were going to the bar / bathhouse / for fishing, I slept without showing my nose from under the blanket. Naturally, neither time nor energy for dating in real life was left.
Gradually began to understand that most of my colleagues and friends had already found women, had families and children, and I ... I'm still afraid to get a dog, because there's no time to walk with her. I rummaged in myself, I thought, well, I decided to try to get acquainted through the Internet. In the end, even the busiest man sometimes wants affection, warmth and relationships. I created a questionnaire, at first the ladies wrote about the status of "looking for a sponsor" - they were swept away at once. For some reason I did not want to pay for money - this way, I could have ordered a girl at the house. I wanted the soul to lie.
So I met one. At first a little pricked up - the photo on the page was strange. Faces are not visible, only hands - brushes - thin, thin, fingers so long, without these all huge witchy nails. At me such fingernails or nails all life a fear caused. Acquainted, introduced herself Masha. For a week of communication, I suddenly realized that it's easier to talk with Masha than with any of the friends I've known since childhood. A month later, I found so much in common that I did not even feel myself. And when two months of our correspondence passed, it suddenly occurred - I want more than just letters. I want to hear a voice, to look into the eyes. You know how a soul mate found, even a thought appeared idiotic - did he fall in love or something?
And then he got a footboard. On the offer to meet Masha replied that she can not. And then the confession followed. Masha turned out to be Misha, a 25-year-old guy from my city who just wanted to talk with a nice man and had no plans for seduction. That everything is too far gone, and he does not want me to hate him. I realized how much I got, already a long time ago, but I could not stop. That he himself will lag behind, he will not write any more, nothing to demand, either. He painted it in a huge message, and then disappeared from the network.
I did not answer. It was disgusting that the warm vodka from the bottle drank all weekend.
But it's not terrifying. It's been two weeks now, today I first returned to that site and realized that Misha had not been online since and was unlikely to appear. And I barely hold back to write, say that there is nothing terrible in this, that we just communicated, and I so miss his messages: funny, sincere and understanding.