Anxiety is a very popular word these days, along with depression, and yes I also use both a lot, yes, anxiety and depression are two very familiar words for me.
But, this is not a sad post, not today, today I wanna talk about how I overcame my last episode of anxiety because maybe it could be helpful for you.
First of all, let me give you some context:
- It is 1:00PM one of my bosses call me and tell me that she needs me to correct one budget ASAP
- I was working in another project
- While I correct the budget I must call several of fellows engineers, talk to them and be polite
And... I hate talking to people, I hate that kind of situation when you must be super political and extra polite, almost hypocrite, it stresses me out so much, especially when that kind of talking is with engineers with much more experience than me, and I don't really know them that much, it is awful for me, a real burden.
So, here I am, running crazy between spreadsheets, numbers, prices, and calls, and thinking:
- Why am I doing this?
- I'm not earning enough, everybody is making money except me
- This is not worth it
- My peace of mind is more valuable than this
- I think I should quit
- I cannot do this any longer
And much more self-deprecating thoughts, I was as you can tell, seeing directly into the void of anxiety.
But I remembered some very helpful ideas:
- Never take any decision while you are mad, stress or sad
- Remember how great you are, you can do this
- (again) You're not thinking clearly, let your feelings and thoughts sink
- One day at a time
- Remember the main goal of your journey
- Don't think in how much money you are making, think about how great your work could be
This last advice could be a little tricky, because, there are a lot of people waiting for new young blood to explode, IS A THING, and we should never ever gave away our job so easily, our job is important, no matter what kind of job is, but, if we keep ourselves chained to the idea of "more money" we are never going to do a good job, and also we are going to end up hating our job.
Right now my biggest source of anxiety is my job, and also, money, but maybe yours is your career, your relationships, or only God knows.
But one thing I could learn after a lot of years dealing with levels of anxiety so high that I felt I couldn't even move (and I didn't) is that there are a lot of things we cannot controle, maybe too much, and yes sometimes there are times when there's nothing else to do than just wait and see, it is harsh, is awful but is true.
At the end I sent the budget corrected, I set up meetings with people that intimidates me very much for tomorrow and I have to say I'm scared as hell, but right now is 10:04PM and there's nothing else to do than sleep.
Pro TIP:
I know our heads have their own rules sometimes, so I tired myself out in order to sleep, at least I will sleep because I'm exhausted, I checked my other projects, I review another chapter of my thesis, I called my parents, called my boyfriend, take a long walk, cook some food and now I'm sharing this with you.
Another ProTIP:
When you are mind says to you:
- OH WAO EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AWFUL
try to answer:
- But if everything turns out to be ok?
Just a quick change of mind.
Be patient, try to use constantly some of the advices I shared with you, and please coment below your impressions, or tricks to deal with anxiety.
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