So many mothers during pregnancy are often asked the same question over and over again: "How are you planning to feed your baby?"
When we are asked this, we automatically want to say "breastfeed" because in all honesty, this is what we know they want to hear. We feel pushed and pressurized into breastfeeding our babies and we are constantly reminded of the health benefits that breastfeeding brings along. If we don't agree to breastfeed, we are then made to feel irresponsible, we are made to feel as though by not breastfeeding, we are imposing a HUGE health risk to our babies.
At appointments, we are thrown leaflets and booklets on the benefits of breastfeeding, we have heard the term "breast is best" about 250 times, we are given constant information on how to breast feed and if we say we are planning to bottle feed as opposed to breast, then we are given a funny look and faced with a barrage of questions making us feel worthless, defeated, irresponsible and well. . . like a bad mum.
Do you want to know the answer to the question "which is really best?" Here's the simply and straight forward answer for you:
FEED YOUR BABY HOWEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO!
Yes that's right. At the end of the day, it isn't the health visitors, midwives, pediatricians, doctors etc who are going to be going through the emotional, life changing events of having a baby IT IS YOU.
I have breastfed and bottle fed and I did so on my own terms. However, when I chose to bottle feed my baby, I was made to feel stupid, I was belittled , I was constantly reminded of all the healthy anti-bodies that my baby COULD be getting if I chose to breast feed instead and I felt as though I was constantly monitored as a parent. When I breastfed however, I was praised, welcomed by all the health professionals, given approval by health visitors and midwives and treat like absolute royalty. This situation here, is completely unfair. I cannot stress enough how I absolutely HATE to see mothers who choose to bottle feed their babies bashed down and made to feel as though they are depriving their newborns.
It is very true that babies do get anti-bodies from their mothers "mummy milk" however, by them not having breast milk is not a life or death situation, therefore, it is completely unnecessary to belittle a mother because she doesn't have a baby hanging off her nipple.
As a mother, you have to do what is best for you, not anybody else and you certainly shouldn't have to feel pressurized by the system to breastfeed. Often, mothers try and are made to feel like a failure when they decide to give up. Let me give you some home truths about breastfeeding right here: when you first start, your nipples feel like they are on fire. Every time that baby latches on , you are faced with intense pain even if their "latch" is great, this is because your body is getting used to it. You often have to cope with that pain for at LEAST 3 days whilst you wait for your milk to come in. Once your milk does come in, your going to be leaking like a cow everywhere and you can say good bye to those beautiful bra's you once wore, because your boobs will be different size cups every day throughout the day. You can also wave goodbye to certain clothes you once loved to wear, nice tops, dresses etc that you were looking forward to wearing again once you popped your baby out. Be prepared for your newborn to want to latch ALL of the time for the first few weeks whilst you wait for your milk to establish and be prepared to get used to the fact your baby will not form a feeding pattern but rather want to feed on demand. Say good bye to ANY form of sleep, because for some reason, breast fed babies like to sleep less because they also like to comfort feed. Oh and be prepared to have your tits on show anywhere and everywhere.
Now I am not one bit saying breastfeeding is a bad thing, I did it with my youngest son and I loved it. I am telling you the reality of it and showing people how hard it really is because if we do decide to stop breastfeeding because we find it too difficult, then that really is OK. Although it is completely natural, it is very difficult to do, especially when we live in a society where it is looked down upon to breastfeed in public, how the hell we supposed to feed our babies!?
My main point in this post is to just show how choosing to bottle feed our babies does NOT define who we are as mothers. Our babies will be JUST FINE with a bottle of formula, breast or even a bit of both! Don't feel pressurized by heath-care professionals to breastfeed and if you do try and it doesn't work out for you, don't feel bad either.
We live in the 21st century and there are MANY brands out their who do amazing bottles, some which even mimic a mothers nipple.
So feed your baby however the hell you want to and don't feel bad about it. And remember, the best is whatever YOU choose it to be.
