For the last two/three years I've been tracking what's happening to women's services in South Africa so know it's bad. Because we all believe in the gospel of prevention now, nobody thinks services need to be funded (not 'cost-effective' apparently) and when they are, the DSD sometimes thinks that the value of the work performed is worth less than the minimum wage (R2 500 for a shelter house mother, R1 250 to work as first responder in a Thuthuzela Care Centres, R600 stipend to 'volunteer' in a shelter). But now I am seeing the effect of this erosion of services. How else can I explain these calls and emails for help? I can't do a good job of helping because I'm not consistently available. It enrages me that things have been allowed to deteriorate in this way.
Fort a portion of my life I got klapped and told I was worthless so know how hard it is to try and build a sense of self after having been rubbished to nothing and can't see your way in the world. But that came through a lot of help from others. And now that kind of help no longer seems to be available.
Today twitter was full of the news of the suicide of a student who had been raped in May. Oh, the benefits of hindsight - one of her instagram posts shows a heart monitor flat lining and a phrase saying something like 'everybody loves you when the line does this.' How very alone and forlorn that is.
To pay attention to services is to value care - to see the work as important and to see those who receive the service as worthy of care. I don't see that in the budgets. They've been allowed to stagnate, salaries decline, and skills be lost. It is uncaring, negligent. But Life Esidimeni remains the supreme example of that disregard and neglect. And then the email from SAVF today too - in six weeks they have still not been paid and have exhausted their overdraft. How do we get out of this? Ranting is the recourse of the powerless.