Reddit Social Anxiety - A Lengthy Q&A (How To Cure Social Anxiety)
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I love talking to people but I hate talking to people - I’m very outgoing. Not shy in the least. I'll talk to anyone who will talk to me...but...once I'm like 5 minutes into the interaction I feel incredibly stupid because I have nothing to say besides like one word answers. It feels like my mind goes blank and I forget everything I know about anything. It becomes hard to formulate a sentence that's coherent. I just smile and nod acknowledging what they're saying until they're done and walk away from me.
How do I stop being so “fake” and smiley all the time? - Since I get nervous around people, I am constantly really smiley and overly nice that I don’t really have a personality. And I understand it’s annoying and impossible for people to really connect with me because i’m so focused on keeping this smiley sweet image when no one really wants that and i’m sure it’s uncomfortable. But for some reason, I just can’t just let loose and stop trying to impress people. Anyone experience this and have advice?
Is it okay to make eye contact during conversations? - I have no problem making eye contact, but sometimes I make a conscious effort to look away ... Yesterday I was talking to a girl and our eye contact was kinda intense and I looked away because I feared making her uncomfortable Last month happened the same thing with a guy, but I looked away multiple times due to the fear of he getting angry at me and beating me up. Whats your opinion about this?
I get anxiety if I DON'T make eye contact. - No idea what to call this, but I have a compulsion to look people in the eye. Complete strangers. This wouldn't bother me if didn't get uncomfortable and anxious when I'm not making eye contact. Has anyone else experienced this? I can't find any info on it.
How to handle post - social anxiety neediness? (More details in description) - What I mean by that is, since I've more or less overcome social anxiety, in a sense that I don't deny I have it anymore, did couple years of therapy and introspection and am now capable of feeling like myself around people, I've come to realize I have some sort of awakened/triggered neediness to make up for or those years I suppressed that need. Probably due to my years of isolation and "I don't need anyone" "I hate people" attitude. I know now that we do need people, we need socializing for energy, mood and feel like we belong. I have a crush on every person I meet basically, or more like, those I meet and like. Even tho I don't even know them. And I tell myself to set the bar low, have low expectations but my expectations end up being extremely high. I feel like at uni I need constant attention or else I feel excluded. And I don't want that, I don't want my happiness or mood depend on people.
Why do I keep myself from approaching new people? - I am pretty sure I have some kind of SA, however, by doing things and getting out of my comfort zone I feel like it has become way less than used to. Nonetheless, I still struggle for example, It's easier for me to step and approach girls in a club even groups of girls. But during the day it is so hard, for instance I went multiple times to a coffee place, mostly because I liked a girl there. And I'm pretty sure that she had the same feelings for me because, she gave me obvious signals but I couldn't get myself to start a conversation with her. I think it is the anxiety of getting rejected, I wish I could improve my skills to talk with girls a bit because this situations always happens to me. I start like pretending that I don't care about the girl I'm not sure why this happens. Would be great if anyone here has some advice for this.
Too anxious to get help for anxiety - For anyone who has seen a doctor or therapist about their social anxiety-- how did you do it? I've literally been trying to psych myself up for years and haven't managed yet b/c:
- I need to call my health insurance co. to find out what coverage I get for mental health services and phone calls make me anxious
- I need to get a referral from a physician in order to see a therapist and doctors make me really anxious
- the idea of actually talking to someone about all of my deepest insecurities and loneliness over the last decade makes me feel like throwing up from anxiety.
How do I get myself to a professional? I can't manage this on my own anymore but I also can't reach out for help.
I'm so embarrassing - I hate myself. Every single day, regardless of what I do, I always somehow manage to make a fool out of myself and embarrass myself in front of everyone. In any situation, whether be it a social one, or even if I'm by myself, I still somehow mess something up. And I feel so bad, and not just for myself, but for my best friends who are there with me. Most of the times I'd just have to stand up and leave the room, because everyone was laughing at me, even though I've no idea what I did wrong. Relatable, anyone?