It is normal for us to set expectations for ourselves because we want to improve our lives and achieve some things or achievement at a certain age, but currently in Nigeria, there are some unrealistic expectations in which the society has set that make a man or woman think about their life when they see other people achieve it with ease or through fraud.
Our parents indeed got married at an early age. If we are to look back to the previous generation and discuss the age they got married, we would be surprised at the age they all got married. Currently, people who got married in their early 20s are considered the serious ones, while 25 and above are considered marrying late or unserious fellow.
Right now, the expectation of getting married after your university education is a common thing in Nigeria, especially for the ladies. You will hear things like, "You are done with your university, bah? So when are you getting married?" People don't want to know if you have other plans to achieve, but they expect you to bring a man home with your degree. Parents forget they told us not to get into any relationships while we were studying.
Another thing people expect is that, if you are old enough to move out of your parents' house, they expect you to get a place very far from your parents's house. Now, this feels like a taboo to get a resident in the same city as your parents. I know some people don't feel comfortable getting a house in the same city as their parents because people expect them to move far from their parents.
As a man, when you are 30 years old or approaching that age, there are certain things people are meant to see you have, and they are
House
Car
A wife
A job that pays hundreds of thousands.
It is fine to achieve all these things before the age of 30, or at the age of 30, but who are the people setting these rules? You talk to a lady, and the conversation can go like this:
Her: How old are you?
Him: I am 30 years old.
Her: Where is your car?
Him: I don't have a car.
Her: At least you should have a house.
Him: I don't; I live in a rented apartment.
Her: So what have you been doing in your 20s?
This is just the sad reality of the expectations people have now. People expect a guy to have achieved all this at the age of 30, and this has pushed a lot of young boys and girls into fraud and odd jobs just to live up to the expectations of society.
I dislike it when people keep asking me, "When are you getting married?" Like, please mind your business. There are other things to life than getting married before the age of 30. One thing that is funny now is that I see many people my age or younger get married, and it makes it look like I am unserious. Or am I really unserious? Anyway, I have learned not to live my life to people's expectations because if I do, I will make many mistakes on my journey to success.
Thanks for reading. All images used are mine.
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