Everyday I train. Train my body until the muscle and bone aches.
I fidget in my sleep - part due to the heat and part from the ache.
This physical pain is nothing next to the pain I feel inside,
Inside my heart and soul where my love has frozen cold.
Everyday I think. My brain applies logic to the problems and plans.
I analyze, calculate and compare - projecting a vision of future happiness.
When will I be blessed with a warm reprieve?
The sound and presence of a lover who doesn't want to leave.
Memories flood my consciousness in a never ending tide,
The water of the past is murky and unkind.
Filtering out negative energy puts constant strain upon my mind,
My dreams are haunted by lovers lost and ambitions cast aside.
What day may dawn when this life has come to pass?
What salvation may lie in wait for me when the river is left to cross?
In the limbo of my desert life, I pray for strength to carry my cross,
For the dignity and humility to return to a state of grace in this life not yet lost.