Irreversible

I've lived in fear
Of the irreversible
The actions that can't be undone
The mixing of things
Like blood, like lives
The nature of things
Like when air expands
And cannot be stuffed
In the bottle again
Without expenditures of force
So great, or the words I speak
Once they've left my lips
Upon this same air
Cannot be put back
Cannot be contained
Because what hurts you depends on the path
Not the state
And I know what that is
The friction we made, the heat
Consumed us both
And caused the great release
The steam from the radiator
Surrendered its heat
To the emptiness of your bed
It touched you with an invisible hand
As invisible as mine normally is
As invisible as I usually am
Always there, but not really there
Hiding in your iPhone screen
You couldn't feel my ghost, unlike the
Cast iron pipes on the skin I touched
When I held you close in my mind
But I no longer fear the irreversible
I no longer fear what can't be undone
To do so would be to fear
The atoms in my own body
To fear who and what I am
The dark matter of my soul
But the thoughts in my head
Are what I now fear most