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Blessed are we for God has given each of us a family that we can rely on especially during difficulties.
But there are times we feel that we do not belong, they do not understand us especially during times that our principles are against with them.
Our parents might be thinking that our ideals in life are solely based on the things they insisted to us while we are growing up but that depends on their way of parenting.
I am a naturally stubborn ever since I was a child. Being the oldest among five siblings, my parents had so much expectations from me. From taking care of my younger siblings to be good at school. But despite these expectations, I didn’t feel that they are pressuring me, they didn’t force me to do the things that they want for me.
Not feeling pressured, I had my freedom to do what I want, to pursue my interest and to simply enjoy life. I’m lucky because my parents are not too strict rather they are very supportive to me. This led me to explore life but of course with limitations like having many friends and being care-free in school as long as still being responsible.
But this freedom gave me learning experiences that somewhat different from my parent’s perspectives. In my adolescence stage, I started seeing flaws from my family, I often notice how we, as family being so imperfect. I realized that my parents are not as perfect as what I thought of them as a child. Big not. I also notice how different I am with my siblings because I think of them as being irresponsible. It came to a point that all we did was keep on recognizing each others flaw just to be told wrong.
Today I realized this all is normal. As we find our own place here on Earth I believe we need to detach ourselves with other people to clearly recognize our true self, away from other people’s ideals, away from others point of view.
This is not easy, as I decided to become independent and decide for myself, I felt like most of the time my family didn’t understand me, I felt that those people whom I thought will understand the most can’t support me. It’s a struggle every time I had an argument with them, as if every argument set me apart from them. I tried to widen my understanding hoping that someday or very soon they can accept my decisions.
First thing is, I can’t blame them for I know that I have a kind of personality that they can’t appreciate. Well I know that I’m too independent, I’m too stubborn, hard-headed and not too showy of how much I love them. Well this is me, my principle is “there’s no need to change myself just to impress them"". What I practice always is my sincerity, that whatever help I give them I do it with full of sincerity.
Adulting is hard, really hard. Reality hits you, you have to deal independently with every little aspect of your life without expecting someone to save you. But for me the best part is knowing that your family will still be family at the end. No matter what you did in the past, what mistakes you did or what arguments you had with them they will still accept you. Even there were times that you didn’t choose them over someone or something. Even if they felt they are taken for granted, they will still waiting for you until you realized the real meaning of family.
In the present, we are doing fine. They started to accept that I have my own life now and they respect every decision that I make even if it’s against with their ideals.
So what family means to me?
Family doesn’t have to be blood related.
Family members may fight because of differences but the love will always be there.
Family has many imperfections but this can be work out.
My family is a great blessing for me because they are my inspirations for coming forward despite the challenges life throws at me.
So always treasure your family, the fact that you have a family is a great privilege that other people don’t have. Some was born with no one while some are living away from them.
How about you, what family means to you?
