In the past year, I've had to rely on other forms of creative expression in order to release my need to do art. I wouldn't say this is a negative thing. It's only negative if we give in to the negative thought that puts us there. In my case, going with the flow has always led me some place worthy of my time - despite how pleasant or unpleasant. These are all peaks and valleys of life and actually what makes life and our perspective on it constantly growing.
A few months ago was such a moment and I am sure most here (no matter where you're from across the big world) can relate. It's so incredibly difficult not to take in all the world is displaying without losing a part of ourselves in the process. We are so interlinked that despite our best attempts to shut the world out, we as a human family find ourselves more and more inter-connected and affected by what is happening clear across the world. That's a lot to hold on in our hearts and minds while juggling what the future might look like.
I, like so many others, found myself in the middle of this Covid crisis with an elderly parent in and out of the hospital. I was feeling myself dissolving into the situation and losing sight of 'life'.
One of the most profound experiences I've ever had was marked by a similar theme....how to draw the lines of empathy and learn a higher calling of compassion. This takes a great deal of love and inner strength - to allow a loved one their own path of experience even when you are witnessing their pain and struggle. This has always been a challenge for me.
In this experience, I needed to meditate and as I did, I immediately reached a very deep level of higher consciousness and awareness. I was shown a higher way of approaching compassion in that we all have our journeys to walk through, however, we all walk at different paces....some speeding through a particular life struggle while others getting a little dragged down and lost.
Despite our strongest urge to jump in to alleviate the pain of someone we care about or to rescue them from themselves, sometimes we're required to let them go in order for their soul to continue teaching them what is needed for their growth and well-being. We also have life experiences to learn and follow in order to also grow and when we interfere in another's path, we are also interfering in our own growth.
At the end of this experience, I heard a rather strange vibrating sound. I was sure there was a giant bumble bee waiting for me when I finally returned from that beautiful higher place. It got louder and louder until I had connected enough to my body that I could once again, open my eyes. To surprise, there only a couple inches from my nose was a beautiful hovering hummingbird. It literally took my breath away as I was staring into its eyes. It was as if the spiritual world was overlapping with the real world just to reassure me of its importance.
Understanding compassion in a broader way, completely changed my perspective on many things. It also freed me of so much worry I usually carried around with me knowing that every person has a soul guiding them to the right place for them.
As my parent was at the mercy of the hospital staff with family permitted to be there, I was once again faced with this challenge including the 'what if's' of each passing day.
Instead of allowing myself to be overcome with worry, I took the vision of that experience I had many years ago and applied to drawing. To remind myself what it feels like to truly let go and trust......to take in the message the little hummingbird gave me
Drawing done in graphite and my fingers ;)
