Good day steemians, today I am going to be talking about Relationship and Marriage.
First of all I would like to start with a definition of the two terms.
Relationships
Relationship can be defined as a Connection or association in other words the condition of being related or in the case of Kinship, being related by blood or marriage. It can so be defined as a romantic or sexual involvement between two or more individuals.
Marriage
Marriage on the other hand is the union of two or more people that creates a family tie and carries legal, social, and/or religious rights and responsibilities.
In most societal settings, the term RELATIONSHIP most times strikes a negative meaning in the mind of people because of the manner in which the term has been bastardized as a result of the various outcomes of relationships in our society viz; unwanted pregnancy, abortion.
In a bid to put ourselves out of this quagmire we would want to answer a few questions :
- At what age should one go into a relationship ?
- What is the purpose of a relationship ?
- Should every relationship lead to marriage ?
- At what point should a relationship transcend into marriage ?
Answers
- Now most people ask the question "At what age can I go into a relationship......?" or rephrased "At what age can someone be/fall in love.....?. This question is common mostly among teenagers as they are the target of this discussion. Love they say is a feeling to be learnt and I think that though it is a matter of the heart it has a lot to do with maturity so I for one would suggest that from 18 upwards is just a perfect age to deal with the "LOVE" feeling as at this point there is some level of maturity. I am not saying that it isn't possible to fall In love before this age NO!!!!. All am saying is that from age 18 there are some mistakes you can not longer make, you understand some issues better and as a result have a better judgment of certain issues because
You are not just going into the relationship with your heart, you are going in with your head as well. Another reason why I recommend age 18 and above is because at ages less than that most teenagers tend to mistake this three feelings:
LOVE
LUST
INFATUATION
They think this three feelings alike and react towards them the same way. For example when you were 15 as girl what would attract you to a boy isn't what will attract you to the same guy when you are 19-20. The truth is it isn't impossible to fall in love with someone before 18 but I'll strongly advice that if you must go into a relationship before 18, then you should take things really slow.
Now that we've established the age at which one should go into a relationship, let's look at the purpose of going into a relationship. Many youths today go into relationships for the wrong reasons. For example when you ask a girl why she's dating a guy you hear things like "He's cute, he has pink lips, he's sexy, he's has six packs
When you go into a relationship, you shouldn't go in with the mind to gain and always be the one benefiting from the relationship, you should be in a relationship to complement your partner and make yourselves better people than you were when you met each other. So in a nutshell, the purpose of a relationship should be to be a friend, as shoulder to cry on, a confidant and a lover to to your partner in the relationship. And for the record not every relationship should have the purpose of getting married which brings me to the third question.Today it's very common to hear some people say "I don't want to date someone I won't marry". This is a very wrong mindset to go into a relationship with and trust me it has ruined 75% of relationships today. The reason is that one partner may be keen on the marriage topic and the other person in the relationship will see this one as trying to find a way to hold him/her down. Now we all understand the fact that no one wants to be used and
Dumped. But that doesn't mean that you should force every relationship to the altar because most times this person you are keen on marrying isn't even thinking of marrying you. We must understand the fact that no matter how "in love" you are, two people cannot completely think the same way. So if you as a guy or a lady has brought up the marriage issue a few times and your partner doesn't seem to be inclined towards that area, don't force it just let it be. That doesn't mean that the person doesn't love you because I have found scenarios where the boy feels the girl is cheating on him because she avoids the marriage question and vice versa. The truth is that not all relationships will end in marriage and that is the fact most people understand, they end up having broken homes, some ladies become victims of domestic violence and the likes all because they forced themselves to the aisle. I think marriage is a very delicate question and should be treated as such. This
brings me to the....
- Like I said in answering our first question, maturity has a lot to do with the issue we are discussing. I am going to be answering this question first for the boys and then the girls.
Now my guys, how do you know it's time to pop the "Will you marry me.....?" question. First of all make sure she's what you want because that's the face you're going to be seeing for the rest of your life so you must make sure she's completely worth it. Secondly you must be emotionally and financially stable because no girl wants to marry a guy who has emotional or financial issues. So you must first of all make sure that on this two fronts you are doing at least 70/100 because as they say in Nigeria "Better soup na money kill am". Then also make sure that she shares in your dream and ideas on some certain issues as this will go a long way in determining the things you achieve when you do get married.
For my ladies am not saying you shouldn't look at his fine face or his height........
But the truth is that those things are going to dwindle with time. So in other words you should as you look at his physical features, look at the features of his pocket as we all know no woman can be submissive when she's the one running the home financially. Am not saying you should be all about the money but before saying "Yes I'll...!!!!" make sure he's the guy you see your kids calling "daddy", make sure he's man enough to handle your responsibilities and the responsibilities of the family. Don't just go into marriage saying "I love him" and all that make sure that on all fronts he's a balanced person even spiritually because he is supposed to be the head of the home on all fronts.
So if you have considered all this features as a guy or as a girl and they are there plus the fact that you are in love with each other, you can now transcend into the marriage atmosphere.
Lastly am going to conclude with a saying by a wise man
