One thing I've learned as I've gotten older, and in part thanks to my career in behavior analysis (although, I keep my skills out of my personal life, I analyze myself WAY too much...we all do...but, some of us are trained to do it...ugh) is that we all feel the same things.
Let me clarify, we don't experience the same things, but we all feel different manifestations of the same gamut of emotions through the varying and sometimes eerily similar experiences we go through. Every emotion is the same. The only opposite to any emotion is indifference. I had to learn this. Otherwise, I would drown in the sea of emotions that I had engulfed myself in as all my worries tied ribbons around my neck while I drifted back and forth with the rising and lowering tides.
The point of this post is a sort of show of gratuity for this platform.
My emotional baseline is to "suck it up", "walk it off", and whatever other cliche you can interchange in that sentiment. But, that isn't sufficient for me. I need to get things out. I'm sure that's why most, if not all of us are here...
I'm on Instagram...that's it. My only means of social networking (until now). But, I keep it mostly superficial. Occasionally, I'll throw in a meaningful post, but more often than not I'll delete it a few days or weeks later. Here...I feel free. Supported.
It's immeasurably therapeutic.
I tend to write notes, poetry, etc in my work notebooks and and on post its, then tuck it away and later discard them. Never wanting to show anyone, never sure it will be received well...or understood.
But, I think that's exactly it. EVERYONE understands, in one way or another.
Not everyone is comfortable enough to admit it. To themselves sometimes.
Here's a poem I wrote, overwhelmed by confusion and emotion after this last break up. I thought about typing it out, but I have a habit of editing, crossing out, changing things. I feel like its more real and raw to see it on paper...
