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I forgot my phone in a taxi cab in Bangkok. Forgot it..or dropped it..or maybe even left it behind on purpose unconsciously. Initially I was quite upset and even a bit rattled that my phone is out of my possession. I thought about the cost of my phone...and all the information and contacts on my phone...and whether or not i had any super sensitive data on my phone that could be utilized against me which could result in greater loss.

I was informed that less than 5% of phones forgotten in taxi cabs in Bangkok make it back to the owner's. Initially my defense reaction was to hold it in and sort of smile about it as like, "ah shit i fucked up. oooops. Aghh that's a zing of a sting...because now i got to get another one and it's an inconvenience of sorts and an added unexpected expense."

Then I went into the experience of: Well the cab driver likely needs it more than me....like I am more well off financially...and so if he can keep it and use it than it's a cost saving benefit to his life....and or if he can sell it...than he will have a little bit more money to survive. I would keep the phone too if I were the cab driver. It's a top end phone.

Then I went into the experience of thinking about how there's so many people here in Bangkok who are poor as fuck. I remembered the shanty homes I had seen just beyond the super malls here that are like these extraordinary and magnificent buildings of the highest quality.

Then I thought about just how fucked up the wealth disparity in this world is. And how i got wealth...financial freedom to an extent, and just how easy it is to be dismissive of the injustices here today. I realize that money is very accommodating to living a good life...and that without financial support people are fucked. It's quite ridiculously insane how programmed into consciousness it is to just accept that things are fucked and mostly not really give a fuck about it...especially so if you have lots of money, because there's so much opportunity to available to make more money

Then I went through an experience of sadness as like man it's so awful the abuse that exists. And I realized how it took something as trivial as me losing my 'device' to get in deeper tune with the harsh truths of so much of the world I have been mostly comfortably numb towards. To such an extent that i was reflecting upon the point of how I've been living the dream...where i've bought into this attitude of taking praise from others who have expressed envy over the quality of my life and the opportunities and privileges at my disposal.

Then I went into an experience of being angry like enraged with myself to such an extent that there was this yearning to just talk some serious shit about all the bullshit that exists here. Where I wanted to make a point of calling out everyone else in existence here who is wealthy and has financial freedom who isn't speaking up about all the inhumane injustices that exist in this world. Like I wanted to just make a point of taking the time to rip everyone a part with my words. Specifically everyone who isn't really giving a shit about the world at large...from the perspective if I do not here or see any communications and or specific directive applications being applied to remedy such situations...especially when the resources are here to do things in a big way to actually make a difference and create and facilitate change that is great.

Then I went through the experience of realizing that part of this wanting to rip on everyone else was because of this deep seated dissatisfaction in the way i've been living - like I've been censoring myself somewhat in not wanting to rock the boat of the status quo too much....not wanting to be too disruptive...or to be regarded as 'negative'...as i could see this point in me of holding onto appearances...like wanting to keep up appearance so to speak...as like this point of recognizing that I will get more out of others if I am 'nice' to them...like having this thinking that, "nobody wants to be surrounded by someone who isn't positive and happy go lucky where all is good".

Then I went through this experience of sort of squeezing myself from the inside out - pushing out all this bullshit that has existed in me in various ways. I realized that this fighting attitude and this emotional turmoil was my resistance to taking a breath and letting go.

Then I realized how I've had this addiction like experience to amping myself up and down with adrenaline and suppression as like how i work myself up within my own mind..and then shut things down. I realized how i've been feeding my mind with my body...and how I've mostly been numb to my body and that i've done a lot of compensating within my body... kind of feeding myself off my thinking as stimulating emotional and feeling experiences

Then I went into an experience of gratitude as like man, so much has opened up here for me in my self-introspection that's basically in one way or another been suppressed...and i'm thankful it's all surfaced. I am fortunate and privileged to forgive all of it...and drop it, let it go...dissolve all my shit.

And from here there's been a point of self-confirmation that I got it, I am here, I have tremendous potential and ability to play an influential role in directing reality as the ways that are Best. The realization became quite clear that yes, I am worthy and I am entitled, and I do give myself credit. I give myself 100% credit and entitlement for every moment of myself here. And in this knowing of myself here as a Creator in this matrix like existence of systematic programming, I am the One I've been waiting for...looking for...seeking and searching for....hiding from...and even working on. I realized that through all the trials and tribulations that i've walked up to this point...the point with out a doubt exists in me as Self-Commitment. I am committed to myself and all Life as the Best. What I mean by this is that "what's best for all life is always the Best. The equality and oneness is me accepting and allowing myself to stand one and equal with all that exists. To exist as less than my Best is complete and utter bullshit. That there's really no choice or any sort of morality about living what is best for all life always. Self-acceptance is at the core of practically living Pro for Giving.

Additional Pro for Gives:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to for a moment get hung up about my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from others and placing myself as either inferior or superior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame and focus on the situation of others as like a form of judging others. I realize this is a distraction and abdication from myself... a form of compensating....avoiding taking responsibility all the way for myself in mind/body/being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself by the circumstances/consequences of the moment when I have a reactionary experience of misfortune.

I realize I am very fortunate. I am very privileged. I realize I have a tremendous amount of resources at my disposal. I realize that i do not have it in me to give up on myself. I realize that no matter how many times I face misfortune, i will survive...and I will persistently work to always insure that I thrive, as I will do whatever it takes to live my best life. I realize that living my best life gets easier and easier...and in way becomes some what effortless over time as I continuously prove to myself time and time again, I am deserving of the Best of everything always. I am capable and able to handle myself always. Wherever and Whatever the situation may be. Because I have no choice. I got the tools.

In every challenge I face - I breathe in and breathe out the making of my best decisions. I realize my best just gets better as I got it in me to always give myself the best support.

Final Reflections:

Don't sweat the small stuff.
Allow myself to purge out whatever bullshit...suppression exists inside myself and purify my inner standing
There's nothing worse than suppression
Pro for Giving is always Great - Self-Forgiveness is Life Recipe of Excellence