Valentine’s day… A year ago @reinikaerrant asked me to be her valentine. From that day on I learned one very important lesson. Love is something that grows slowly, it can not be rushed. She consistently spend time with me until the day I it dawned on me… I love her. And there is no way of explaining it, with a number or a date. Because when I met her, I didn’t love her. And now I love her. Knowing the day that love happened. It’s an impossible question, but it’s not that it doesn’t exist, it’s that it’s much easier to prove over time.
It’s like when you go to the gym, it’s like exercise. If you go to the gym, and you work out, and you come back, and you look in the mirror, you will see nothing. And if you go to the gym the next day, and you come back and you look in the mirror, you will see nothing. So clearly, there’s no results, it can’t be measured, it must not be effective. So we quit.
Or, if you fundamentally believe that this is the right course of action, and you stick with it, like in a relationship: “I bought her flowers and I wished her a happy birthday, and she doesn’t love me” clearly I’ll give up. That’s not what happens. If you believe there’s something there, you commit yourself to an act of service.
You commit yourself to the regime, the exercise. You can screw it up. You can eat chocolate cake one day, and you can skip a day or two, you know. It allows for that. But if you stick with it consistently I’m not exactly sure what day, but I know for sure you’ll start getting into shape. I know it. And the same with the relationship. She committed herself.
It’s not about the events, it’s not about intensity, it’s about consistency. I didn’t fall in love with her because she remembered my birthday, or because she asked me to be her valentine.
I fell in love with her because when she woke up in the morning, she said “Good morning” to me before checking her phone. I fell in love with her because when she went to the fridge to get herself a drink, she got me one without even asking. I fell in love with her because when she had an amazing day, and I came home from work and had a terrible one, she didn’t say “Yeah, yeah, yeah, but let me tell you about my day.” she sat and listened to my awful day, and didn’t say a thing about her amazing day. This is why I fell in love with her.
I can’t tell you exactly what day, and it was no particular thing she did; it was the accumulation of all of those little things that I woke up one day, and as if I pressed a button, I went “I love her.”
And this I wanted to share here, I love you @reinikaerrant, happy valentine’s day!