Do you have an invisible disease/illness?
Well I guess you can relate to this post.
Mostly when someone is ill you can tell by their looks, but I can tell you not all illnesses come with wounds, scars, crutches or wheelchairs.
This is actually a very frustrating thing because people always judge you and think you're faking an illness just so you don't have to do something... They think you're a fake because they can t see you're sick.
I am 23 years old at the moment, and I've had chronic sinusitis for 5 years. September last year, (I was 22 at the time) I had a breakdown. I had a double pneumonia, infected atopic eczema, laryngitis and fungal infection. I had to take a break from work and take a lot of medication to get better. It only got worse, since I also developed anemia and I was so tired all the time... And something for else started to increase... I had a lot of chest pain and thought it would get better as soon as my pneumonia got killed by the medication.. But it didn't. So I went to see the doctor again a day he sent me to the hospital.. He thought I had to go to a rheumatologist because my symptoms were telling him I have the Tietze syndrome.
So I'm still in this process I'm still not completely sure what it is but I do know I'm in pain every day and it's a big struggle for me. I still go to work cause I have to pay my (medical) bills and college... But I don't have the energy to study properly because I try so hard and I still can't pass my classes because of my lack of concentration. Working is not just hard, like it is for everyone else... Its exhausting and it feels like I'm having a heart attack every hour of the day. When I had a really long day I even throw up because of the pain...
And I still hear “You don’t look sick.” every single time... I feel like every bit of me is falling apart and no one understands because I don't look that way. When you see me out, you haven’t seen the hours, and days and sometimes even weeks of resting I’ve done to be there. Or the hours I will spend asleep as soon as I get home and how I still feel like I've been hit by a truck as soon as I wake up after 12+ hours of sleep. I also don't admit too fast I'm having a hard time or feeling horrible, because I don't want my loved ones to worry so much about me. That Hurts me as well you know.... They can’t help, so why should I hurt them more? When you ask me how I am, I’ll tell you I’m okay, because it’s easier than listing all my symptoms. And get asked if I have a burnout in return. (Answer to this is No, by the way)
I just think it'd awful that you're already fighting your illness and trying to be the best you can, and you have to fight your emotions too as people start judging you and still don't accept you and your illness.
Its just so hard... I love to sing and play guitar and to do kung fu. But I just can't do that anymore because I am in so much pain... And I still don't have the right treatment.
If you can relate, or want to show you care give me some love by upvoting or leave a comment xoxo.
