I aspire to be more than i am, to dance around the boundaries of my potential and break free into the limitless world beyond.
But my lifestyle do not agree, big dreams needs not only tireless minds refining and churning out idea ceaselessly but also strong arms that knows no fatigue. Hands to do the work the mind thinks.
My hands do not wish to bear the burden of the visions my mind see, and my mind power isn't strong enough to compel the hands.
I've read enough psychological articles to know there's a name and possibly a reason for whatever it is I'm going through, so I try to self-diagnose my supposed disorder, find out the reason for my lack of motivation, lack of action beyond critical thinking.
How would i not want to move? why would i not want to?
When this life my mind envisions is truly accessible and will for sure catapult me out of this shit hole life that I hate.
So i pull out my pen and paper, I will write down my mind, I'll fix this shit.
I sit down and write a line and then two, fiddle my pen, a random jumps into my head i elaborate on it, and forget completely about i was to write.