Memorial Day Weekend of 2020 will have to go down as one of the hardest for me to process. This time of year is always a struggle for me because it brings back a flood of memories of my time in combat and those that I have personally lost during the Iraq War but this year is a doozie.
I had a very pleasant surprise to start off last week...my cousin came into town to visit! We have a very special bond as he is also a Combat Veteran. We actually saw each other once in Kuwait. It was the night before I was to leave Kuwait and go into the Hot Zone. I've always felt blessed that we were able to have that short visit. It's like the stars aligned and by fate we were able to cross paths.
He has truly become my best friend. We talk almost every day on the phone and we have helped each other through some very bad days and weeks when dealing with Post Traumatic Stress. I know he is a phone call away and vice versa.
He left Tuesday to head back home. It was a bitter sweet moment (to say the least) but I was so thankful for the time I had with him.
Then I got a call Thursday. He had arrived home and his wife had to take him to the hospital. He is currently in the Intensive Care Unit on a ventilator. He was spitting up blood when he woke up Thursday. The veins in his throat had ruptured and he lost three pints of blood. Now, his kidneys are not working and a mass has been found on his liver. Lastly, it has been discovered that he will have to undergo a TIPS Procedure because of severe cirrhosis of the liver.
His Birthday is Sunday
It's a very real possibility we could lose him. I personally cannot imagine a worse time of year to lose him. Memorial Day is hard enough but to lose him around this time. It may seriously break me.
I've been trying to keep myself busy today. I set up a Memorial Day Display to honor my fallen Brothers and Sisters. It felt good to move and to let them know they will not be forgotten. I had a good cry and let out so much of the pain I am feeling.
I would have never imagined that the last hug I gave my cousin could be our final one.