It has not happened to them that we feel alone, discouraged, frustrated, or destroyed. All of those synonyms are what I feel right now. Sometimes I wonder:
How could I go from being the happiest person in the world, to seeing myself engulfed in depression without any direction?
I don't understand why I had so many difficulties in my world, since simplicity was always part of my life, a family life full of problems only taught me, that the little details are what you should enjoy, the bitterness and loneliness are the details , that invade a wounded heart by the traditions of the people to whom they give all my dreams. Those people to whom I gave everything, to whom I very much want to turn into those forces and encouragement that many times perished, and like each one of them, did not even hesitate to raise their daggers and finish with everything they loved the most. for what I fought and for what I despaired of.
That is what made me happy, what gave me strength to continue, a new world of possibilities and dreams opening rapidly in front of me.
I could only live a short time for others, but a long path of happiness for me who was the one who recorded it, sometimes I wish I could delegate my gift of empathy and see others for once putting themselves in my shoes. During all my life I grew up together with rejection and although for a long time I became my strength, the sad one that I was going to receive over the years really became strong, but underneath all that armor that I built to not show my concern.There was only one girl, wishing with all her might someone who would fight for me and give him all the love he needed and what he accepts as he was, who enjoys being with him and that they were happy and did not focus on the small daily battles that each one should have, someone with whom to focus on being happy and not on embittering life together, someone with whom to trace a path by which to travel, no matter how hard it was, because both would be the fuel that would give energy to the relationship, an energy which will allow them to eventually achieve any goal they decide, but not only enjoy the achievements, but also enjoy the journey.
I found that person, for a long period of time they were both those two parts of an energy, those parts called love and happiness resulting in the life that anyone wanted to have, he was that and more! but destiny is a game of dice, and as in any game of chance there is always the possibility of losing. And that was how when you take that handful of cards and realize that it is impossible to win the game and begin to accept that everything is lost, that maybe you should decline and not bet more ... but what if what is in the table, is what gives meaning to your life.
Would you, how much would you be willing to give to achieve that magic?
Well if you ask me? I gave it my all, I faced many loved ones defending them tooth and nail, safeguarding what gave my life meaning, and what I hoped to fight for...
But I was wondering to myself, what happens when a fixture's piece gets too much pressure for too long? ... that force that has external factors only gradually wears away that fragile piece until it is damaged, and what happens when an important piece is damaged in a device, that same specific operation stops or, failing that, it completely breaks down. and that was the dice that destiny played against me.
I felt that I was putting so much pressure on my piece that complemented my life, that they had to start to collapse and work in a bad way, causing all my feelings to begin to diminish, for those people who were arriving and sadly deteriorating me completely, they come into operation a single piece in my soul that by itself, does not fulfill all those functions that make me strong and that causes me to surrender to the pressure.
Now I'm here, feeling like a broken machine and I honestly don't think I can get another piece that fits my soul to solve all those problems that overwhelm me. I feel that I am treated like a machine that only comes to use it as long as it is for its use and they leave it in oblivion for not using it or for being a small piece of junk ... only causing me a strong feeling to say.
