Follow me down the rabbit-hole. Oh no wait go get help I'm stuck.

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I have dabbled with writing since I was a wee lad. My computer is stained with unfinished projects, ideas and fleeting paragraphs of nonsensical gibberish.

In High school my friend and I used to write essays for minimal pay. At first only our friends made use of our services and compensation allowed for the odd doughnut and can of Coca-Cola at the school's cafeteria. As news spread of our endeavour to alleviate unnecessary academic stress from fellow pupils, business started booming.

Inevitably the popularity of our pieces led to an inquest by school staff to find the source of what some called "wisdom of the gods". Laying low was necessary and only the odd paper was passed onto the desperate client. Our success, however, led to our own downfall.

Mediocre (some might say dumb) students whose most articulate moments climaxed at passing gas, soon started achieving marks way beyond their ability. Fearing a true call-to-arms by staff to find the warlocks of wisdom, guilty of spreading knowledge to the unenlightened, we closed shop and spent the rest of our earnings on beer.

It is difficult to say what I will write about. I have two posts up about some random stuff and hope to eventually settle into some sort of niche, or 'market'. I consider myself to be fairly clever regarding most subjects but possess the introspective ability to realise that I can, at times, rival the village idiot's stupidity.

One paragraph to summarize me: funny, boring, lazy, intelligent, witty, smarter-than-thou, ignorant, naïve, grateful. I love dogs, animals and nature. I am a nerd through-and-through. I enjoy doing things outside my comfort zone and see challenges as opportunities to grow. I am shy, withdrawn and quiet at times. I like listening to stories and giving advice. My life is highlighted by some fuck-ups of epic proportion and, having recovered quite well from the latter, want to help people either avoid or realise their own mistakes. As Gandalf arrived at the Battle of Helm's Deep when the hour seemed most dark, so I like to imagine I can help others muster their own courage.

I have also started throwing some money into Crypto with the hopes of becoming a multi-billionaire dictator grand-wizard. When I'm not obsessed with my rule of tyranny I teach, as a teacher, to children who need to be taught.

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