This is why the negative emotions that upset and disturb you are usually unconscious, unthinking reactions that are triggered by external events.
We know this is true because no one would consciously and deliberately decide to feel negative angry, or upset. When people are in control of their emotions, they choose to feel happy.
For example, one of the most common expressions of negative emotions has to do with what are called conditioned responses.
These are automatic responses that we engage in when in when somebody pushes one of our hot buttons.
A hot button is a habitual negative way of reacting to an experience or to something that someone says. Each person has a series of these buttons, and when we know a person well, especially in an intimate relationship, we know just what buttons to push to get whatever reactions we want.
When one of our buttons is pushed, such as when someone mentions someone or something that you feel very strongly about, you respond with anger and defensiveness.
If you hate to get cut off in traffic and somebody cuts you off inadvertently, your hot button will be triggered and you will be talking angrily to yourself and to anyone else who will listen for the foreseeable future.
Learn to control your emotions..
