Do you know that feeling, that you have to do something.....but can´t quite remember what?
This story is just that.
I remember being told to write it but I can´t remember what I was supposed to tell you. What I do know is that everything I am going to tell you really happened, even though it may unbelievable sometimes.
Hit Rewind to start from Chapter One
Chapter 15
Life was definitely never going to be the same again after meeting America.
It was the story about the diamond planet and one other lesson Little Feet told me, that finally convinced me that at least in my reality this was no normal Dissociative identity disorder (DID).
The other thing that pushed my conviction was when I was explained that Dani was somewhat like a radio. Allowing her to tune in to certain bandwidths, or better allowing others to tune into her bandwidth. In that case, that creepy thing that spitted on me and ripped my flesh must have been a pirate station dominating the airwaves.
She even explained why I was the first to really notice that Dani´s superpower was the radio ability. That was because lucky me was also given a superpower. My amazing talent was...... being some sort of amplifier for people with the radio ability.
In hindsight, my fighting that exorcist thingy marked the day the music died.
Dani moved in with Jor and I was left alone in this house, a place I no longer shared with friends. It was a much nicer place but with Dani gone, I missed my old room.
By now I did have a new social network, so I was not as lonely as that first year. Besides we did not break up or get divorced. She just needed some space and time.
We frequently met up, sometimes she stayed over. Sometimes the Little One or Sei showed up, almost as if things were sort of normal. Yet, it did not feel the same.
Having her no longer with me and knowing she spends so much time with others felt like we were drifting apart. We might, or we might not, maybe I was just being impatient.
Her not being with me, her being with Angle, and living with this new guy might have been completely necessary and innocent from Dani´s perspective. It was me, my longing to finally be one with her that could not accept the situation. It was me that could not wait patiently for the girl I loved to make up her mind. To get her head together and move on.
All this waiting and the feeling that we were drifting more and more apart made me nervous. It felt as if she had never been this out of reach. Subconsciously I must have seen this coming as I knew me and monogamy never were the best of buddies.
A part of me must have known that when times get rough it was hard for me to keep the faith and remain faithful. For laying with Cabilah excuses could be found, but now I was not getting laid at all my focus started to drift.
Guess it was one of my self-fulfilling prophecies. It must have been summer 2021 because we still had guilders, it was a couple of months after Dani moved out and this other girl appeared. She did not look anything like Dani, but she was cute, dressed sexily, and had time to kill.
Her name was Claudia and she had just moved into this homeless housing project down the street from my work. As I got it she had not really been homeless, but she lost her place to stay and ended up there to have a roof above her head.
At least that is what she told me. Claudia was never really clear about what happened but from the breadcrumbs, she dropped during our talks it seemed that she left her house in a small village in Brabant due to a fight with her ex.
The shelter, if you can call it that, had provided her with a room and was working with her to get her a place of her own. There was something about her, something off. I mean, I never saw her take any drugs other than marijuana, but I always felt that drugs somehow were the root cause of her problems.
There were no visible tells so at the time I didn´t give it much thought. She was a good-looking girl and I was working extra hours this summer. Those daytime hours could be quite slow so her presence was a welcome distraction. We talked, we smoked, and we laughed, it was so nice compared to how I felt when Dani and I were together nowadays.
Dani and I had been going downhill since the day we moved into the new house. Things definitely had not gone as I hoped they would, and now that we were living apart together for a couple of months and I was getting fed up with these heavy feelings. We were stuck in a smelly swamp, that erased all rosey smells of our love.
That fed-up feeling, plus the fact that I always loved female attention concocted a toxic mix. That dark cocktail drove me into the arms of this girl lending over the pool table showing off the fact that she had a great figure. Personally, I like a bit more meat on my girl, but I know that the guys watching us thought she definitely looked hot.
These were confusing times. I did not have the foggiest idea what I still had with Dani, it definitely did not feel as being bounded in a partnership. She would disappear for days and I would be in bars and clubs having a good time, her being with another guy or guys caused me to not feel exclusive.
In all honesty, I don't know what she did with Angle. She said she was really clear about it, but did that mean Cabilah was too? And now that she moved out and moved in with Jor it just made me lose that feeling of exclusivity. Something I have never been a big fan of anyway, but for Dani, I would have given up all the flirting in the world if that would have made her truly mine.
Instead, I was trying to dull the heartache, by doing just that.
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