AND AS TIME GOES BY, I AM STILL HERE

Many people doesn't know that I am a normal and stagnant woman who doesn't want change.I just want something that I am capable of. I don't want to try hard in life because what's the use , right? What's the use of fighting so much if your body cannot fight anymore.

I have been working in the hospital for more than 5 years now and and there are many reasons why I stayed here. Reasons which can affect me emotionally and mentally. First, I want to act strong whenever I see people with their family devastated and sick. I want to act like I am with them, like I am with them through the hardships that they are all experiencing. Second is, I want to help, maybe not financially but at least provide the things that they need.And lastly, I don't want to see my family in this state of place. I don't want to be in this place where I am the one who will cry in silent and have a heavy heart.

Honestly, I am not a nurse or nor a doctor, but I am just a hospital working. My dream before when I was a kid was to be one of the nurses that will take care of the patients whenever there is someone in trouble. But guess what? life will never be in according to your plan. It will always be in God's plan. And that plan of him made me into this. I am an office girl in the hospital, sort of hospital working. I managed to be like this because I promised to myself that even though I will not get the chance to be a nurse, at least I am working inside the hospital.

The melancholic hallway makes my heart ache a little. It makes me more sad and sad everyday knowing that there were people who cried before in this area just to let their saddened heart be at ease. It is so hard to think that you will be in that place, so miserable, so devastated, and so out of mind. That you cannot think properly on what to do because you mind is occupied with something else.

Life is something we should be thankful for because we can breathe freely without any hesitations. Life at the hospital is all about bills and bills, you cannot breath if you will not pay. every oxygen that you get is equivalent to more than a peso of worth. I hate it here because every now and then, people will leave you without any words and without blink of an eye. I hate it here because every bed is a different life story that we cannot hold into anymore. I hate it here because the cries became my favorite song in my ears that I don't want to hear. I hate changes, I hate it here.