I think there are two things that can separate people: doubt and pride. Oh, and I forgot a third: that your friend now decides to drink coffee without sugar 🤭
I remember once I was randomly flipping through the channels on TV and stumbled upon a show that was titled something like "Why Do We Lie?" The title really surprised me. According to the program, it would explain the scientific reason and other details of why human beings lie. In the end I decided not to watch it.
On another occasion, during a conversation, and when I expressed to him how his actions made me feel, someone told me that his well-being was what mattered to him and that is why he was concerned that his person was well. Unfortunately, he doesn't stop to think about whether his actions hurt, minimize or overstep the healthy boundaries of others.
These two examples, which have nothing in common, only reflect two of the many things I would like to understand better in life: Why are we capable of hurting those we love with a lie? Why, if I am aware that my words and actions negatively affect others, even those I love, do I persist in them? Could I ask for consideration, respect and empathy by treating others' feelings badly?
I know that who we are is partly a reflection of our childhood, of the upbringing we had. The attitudes and patterns of our parents, what they showed us, had and has a very big influence on us. Everything we saw was stored in the unconscious and years later they somehow direct the conscious. And sometimes they are things that overcome us, because they even control us without us realizing it.
But I am aware that there are also our own decisions, not those that are also directed by the unconscious, but those that we choose many times knowing what we do, we want and we know what it will achieve in others.
It is those things that I sometimes do not understand. The ones that sometimes get me a bit stuck in my thoughts and make me feel confused.
Can you love someone and at the same time treat them with hatred? Can you care for someone and at the same time be their tormentor? Can I say I am sincere when I lie and hide things from those who care about me?
This could be like a chain that keeps the one who does it and those to whom we do it locked up.
I recognize that I have acted both ways myself at times, that I have not always been the best version of myself and that I have had to learn and let go of situations.
Do you know why I didn't choose to watch the program that promised me to know the nature of lying? Because I know what a lie is and how it feels. I know what happens when doubt is sown and when the tentacles of pride suffocate a person, and that is not the direction I want to build my life, my relationships and my freedom as a person 💜
Text of my authorship. The photos are my own, taken with my phone Realme 7. Edited with my phone's editor. Banner create in Canva.
Text translated using DeepL.com
Splitter created by me in GIMP 💟