My Concerns about Future - Weekend Engagement #143

Future concerns

What concerns do you have for your personal future? They could be financial, relationships, emotional, physical or anything else about your own personal future. How are you addressing those concerns and how do you see it playing out? Write a post of at least 300 words.ds.


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This has been a topic that's been rumbling in my head since the start of this new year. My cortisol levels are high up and while trying to put a smile in my face every day, I also feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm almost in my thirties, and I feel like my life has been slipping through my hands like sand. I graduate from college as a teacher, but I haven't work in that field yet. My mom is suffering from depression, and I can say I'm the one in charge of her recovery, always keeping an eye on her and her treatment. Also, living in Venezuela doesn't make things any better. Working far from home is something not as easy when it come to the numbers in financials. 80 dollars a month in a country where you need at least 600 dollars to live decently. I've spent half of my twenties looking after my mom and although I don't regret it, I know that those are years I cannot get back.

Actually, yesterday I was talking with this cousin that is happening the same situation with his mom. And in a conversation I said to him that I was thinking on leaving the country. That I need to live my life and the for once I needed to think of myself first because I was losing it in my home. That I needed to be selfish in order to get what I want, and if that means that I have to leave, I'd do it.

I've been thinking a lot and I've cried so hard because I feel like a failure. So I need in the future to come to do something with my life; to know new people, to work with a better salary, and to get to know my soulmate. When I think about the latter, I can't believe that I've been single for more than a decade. I guess I deserve something new in my life.

I guess that age is doing its work in my head. I can't help but to think a lot. I'm planning to save some money and get out of here. Start a new and help my mom from another country. Get a place for myself, where I will not have to be preoccupied for bother anyone, to get a new pet, since I lost my cat a few weeks ago. And get my mental health some help because I know I need it.

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