Pandora's box embedded in my brain
All human beings are fragile. Although, they make us believe that we are strong. Even if they call us warriors; even if they tell us that we should not give up. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, even give up; to grab strength.
One thing is our physical body...sometimes sculpted; sometimes created with surgeries, inventing someone perfect, flawless, and divinely exquisite, made art, in the eyes of others.
I think since I was born, I've been on a diet! 🤣 … Or rather, I've wanted to shrink my body, look/feel me like a stake. Which has not been possible because I came out "with a big body". And for much of it, I punished myself too much for reaching a goal that was only in my mind.
I committed myself as a child to classical ballet without having any of the suggested conditions for such practice, I bet on other activities where I should be an effigy like the goddess of Venus without having any of the conditions that until now prevailed as a necessity. Thank God I freed myself from some restraints, and I always knew that the brain (at least the one I have) I learned to use was worth more.
It took me a long time to understand that God wants me to smile. And although I continued with the strong challenges in terms of physical activity and wanting to “be like a Miss universe“ or wanting my husband to believe that I can be an athlete or have "a runway model physique", I understood that the important thing is health. Which is nothing more than being in a state of permanent joy ... activity that every active weekend with my bike, morning yoga, and extraordinary barbecues that my husband cooks for me and that I don't usually taste during the week.
I still look wide, I want to practice cardio-boxing with those who tell me “I see you well” that is (you are fatter, with more kilos) and I answer them as soon as I get out of the Christmas and New Year's Eve parties 2022, which were also two weekends of eating and eating everything; I insist on putting on big clothes and other little things that in my world work to sustain my self-esteem.
Another thing is the mind, our little emotional box, the aptly called Pandora's box embedded in the brain and manipulated by our heart. What we think we are is what we appear to be in the eyes of others, but we are also what we see ourselves to be in our intimacy.
There we cannot fall into lies, because we look at each other without clothes; even in our pain. Even if we try to be perfect, we are not. We are vulnerable, even if we don't show our weaknesses.
But I discovered that metabolism has nothing to do with self-esteem; and that the important thing is to discover that inner beauty nourishes the relationship with Prince charming that is available to me in this now.
I think social stereotypes and the absence of emotional education have prevented us from seeing that beauty transcends the body. And without a doubt, we must take care of our physical body for balance, well-being, and health, in addition, the physical body will adapt intelligently to the integral body balancing mind, emotions, energy, spirit, and others.
Without a doubt, I am a woman of action, passion, and clear ideas, who is alive inside, and with a gallery of virtues that last longer than anybody's size or weight. I am infinite in beautiful ideas and emotions. So I'm going to keep adding laughter and brightness to life, with its ups and downs, with its ups and downs, because, in the end, enjoyment is part of what goes with our soul to another plane. It is difficult to live life in peace, what else? That's why we hope to have it, after death, when we are in RIP mode.
I applaud myself on my feet for the courage to recognize myself and for the strength to shout it out to the world!!! God allows this to flow and reach so many humans who live in the bitterness of Non-ACCEPTANCE. And so “learn to live from the little miracles”, that begin with the sunrise, a coffee with the aroma of "life here you have me”, the singing of birds, to be silent and ignore the one who criticizes you for no reason or with her-and, enjoy the present as the most valuable gift, do not let anything or anyone makes it bitter for you.
All my life I have struggled to be skinny (although I was) but my mind was saying something else, I am currently still struggling with that overweight from these 2022 Christmas holidays. The cover image? In the place where I want to live: the beach every weekend possible. The rubbers on my abdomen are sponsored by what I have enjoyed in life. If you agree with me at any point, let me know, and thanks for your time.
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Icons by: Icofinder
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are edited with Canva
Translation with |DeepL