The following is a lyrical parody of Closer by Chainsmokes titled "Don't get any closer", you can find the original song by pressing the name of it. No masks, gloves, bleaches, or horse medicines to compact covid will be promoted here.
[Verse 1]
Hey,
I was doing fine before you said "Achoo"
You should have just grabbed a tissue
That was not okay
Wait,
Tell the gang that I won't be seen
I have to stay home and quarantine
Again
I know it sounds rude
But I feel like dry-heaving and puke
10 days with hard cough
I don't mean to be on the phone acting scoff
But the cough won't stop
Naaaah, it won't stop
[Chorus 1]
So, please don't come closer
Keep a distance as big as a rover
Cause that's what the doctor wrote
I should have avoided exposure
And it didn't help to be a smoker
Now I have a sore throat
My girlfriend can't come over
And I get rid of this weird boner
[ Verse 2]
Hey,
I may sound like a dumb jerk
But I know exactly how covid work
I did my research today
Wait,
It's an easy technique
Shared by this smart dude from Mozambique
It's true because people call him insane
All you need to do is lick a frog
I wrote about it this dude's blog
No need for vaccines or boosters
Unless you're a sheep and looser
That's what actual researchers say
Oh, I just tested positive again
[Chorus 2]
So maybe life is over
I won't be able to get any older
No worth trying anymore
My voice sounds like a motor
And my immunity level is getting lower
And I am crawling on the floor
I should get a vampire over
And have him bite me on the shoulder
[Musical break]
[Chorus 3]
Now I laugh and chortle
After the vampire made me immortal
But I can't go tanning anymore
Goodbye to Pizza Hut's sticks
And anything else dipped in garlic
Or put salt and pepper on my pork
I wish you hadn't gotten closer
Or that I smashed your head with a boulder