The end of an experiment in Altruism

I bought my house and property in Dec 2020. I immediately saw there were a lot of things I was once able to do by myself that I can no longer accomplish.
Not by myself. So I have been on the lookout for helpers who I hoped would not break the bank.

This photo was taken about the time I met Josh and Lori, they were sitting outside Lowe's, and I stopped to comment on his hair of all things.


Our initial chat ranged in topic from music to his (supposed) skills and experiences.
She, at the time was working at Panera Bread right across the parking lot.
They were living in a tent behind Lowe's, they could only access their phones or internet when close to Lowe's or some other place they could log on to Wifi


I quickly lost touch with them since they never replied to any messages I sent, and I had no clear idea where their tent was located.
Then about 2 months ago, I saw them once more on foot around the Panera Bread store.
I circled around, by then she was in the restaurant in the restroom.
He and I spoke for about 30 minutes, me sitting in my car engine running, him standing outside talking.
His tale of woe went round and round. He said that since our initial meeting, he'd gotten a good job with a good wage, they had a rental in Dallas Ga, things were good.
Then he hurt his ankle at work. They said it was a sprain, he said it was worse, and couldn't work. They claimed that it was a sprain and not grounds for any workmans comp claim.
He said there is a lawsuit in the works.


In the meantime, she had beed forced to have her ENTIRE COLON removed (I saw the scar) so that she now only has a small intestine and poops frequently using a "J pouch", and yet she was now the only source of income, standing on street corners begging for change (signs like "Please Help, Hungry and Homeless")


Folks, I have BEEN homeless, and I KNOW the stories we tell people to generate sympathy and explain why we are where we are now and his story had all the classic hallmarks.
I gave him $20 cash (all I had at the time, I deliberately don't carry cash so I won't have to lie to beggars and say I don't have any money)... he asked me "what's this?" I said it was a gift.
I left and it was pretty much forgotten.
Until about 2 weeks ago when my phone rang, the ID said "Healthcare" so I answered.
It was Josh calling from his counselors office.
The counselor, having heard the story of our meeting in 2021 and then again recently, had told Josh that he really needed to get with me and follow up on working for me in exchange for a place to live out of the elements and cold.


Against my better judgement and the opinions of nearly ALL my friends, I agreed.
I went to pick them and nearly all their possessions up on Friday December 15th (I think). Everything they had required washing, including them.
I think she washed 10-15 loads of clothes in those first couple of days.

I gave them the use of my guestroom, that chair in the corner was stacked up with clean folded clothes this morning

The bottom open shelves were filled with socks etc, the top two small drawers were also filled with sock and things, that bottom drawer was full of her undies and socks

That old sewing machine had bags of clothes on top and in front, nearly everything was already packed.

All I had to do was finish packing, load it all into my car and take it back to their tent.


You see, there developed a pattern, them staying in bed every day until noon, staying up all night on their phones (now happily connected to my WIFI).
They did clean up my kitchen a couple of times after I'd cooked for us all, and he DID locate one of my missing property corner markers(He had Surveyors Experience)
During this period of time, they were always saying they had a SNAP card that had been lost and a replacement being mailed to his mother's house, but in the meantime I spend close to $200 on groceries and wine, that I shared with them.
The straw that broke the Camels Back happened last Thursday, when she said "I need to get up to my corner to get money to pay for our Health Insurance ($200)"
We had JUST that morning had the conversation that they needed to start using the bus because I had things I needed to do that didn't include providing Taxi service. They readily agreed that they could use the Cobb Bus Public Transit, but this announcement put a time stamp on it, so I said "well come on, let me take you up to your corner so you can get to it (12-1PM is the prime time for begging it seems)
It took him nearly 90 min to get dressed!!!!!!!!
I was LIVID, but help my temper, until he said (coming down from the tent with yet another container, which I thought was going to be empty so she could put her stuff in it, but which was FULL as he came down the hill) ... he said to me:

"Jerry, could you please change your tone with me?"

I blew up. I'm sorry but I'd had all I could stand.
"Joshua do you know just HOW MUCH of MY TIME is spent WAITING on YOU? Many times I walk past the door and see you standing in front of the mirror primping when we were needing to be on the road!!!"
He threw down the container he was carrying and went back up the hill, and that was the last I saw of either until I took their belongings back to them this afternoon.
It is supposed to be down to 29° again in the morning.

I feel sorry for them, I pray they can get themselves into a better mindset.
I've done what I could for them
My experiment with Altruism ended with them, maybe not for others, but for them it is done.

"End of the Experiment"

by
Jerry E Smith
©1-1-2024
Opening image from their profile, the rest taken with my cellphone



These .gifs were created for me by @coquiunlimited; many thanks


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