A lot of people would normally ask me "Joe, why am I not enough for you?" And it makes me wonder. A lot of times when we fall out with people, we tend to think we're the problem, while we might be the problem, it doesn't mean we are the problem at all times. This is why I think it's important for everyone to understand the principle of neutral self-evaluation.
Evaluating ourselves properly helps us develop a decent level of awareness and this includes checking out our excesses like ego, pride, and even lack of empathy. For example, whenever, I'm dealing with people, I want them to win as much as I would win especially in whatever human transactions we're involved in
Winning Collectively
This is because I love seeing people win alongside me and the more reason why I do so is that I always imagine situations where the tables are turned, would I love the be treated the way I would treat myself. Whatever transactional relationship I have with anyone, I try not to be a burden to anyone and this is because I feel I am already a burden to myself.
I use to imagine myself being detached from myself, would I be able to carry "myself", would I be willing to endure the baggage I come with. If my answer is no, then I don't think I should force people to carry my burden, because originally, I know it's difficult. However, some people would still choose to bear the burden that comes with us no matter how heavy it is.
Entitlement Creates Crazy Expectations
Now, these people already understand, how tasking it is to bear our burden, but they still choose to do so because that intention comes from a place of unconditionality. However, people can also choose to bear your burden if there's a reward for it. In this situation, this is purely transactional and not from a place of sacrifice or genuinety. Even people who are our friends and sacrifices, some of them, are mostly willing to bear our burden because it might be beneficial.
Nevertheless, when the burden we need others to hear for us does not come with a reward, then it becomes an infringement. It's important to understand that asking people to bear our burden is an infringement and one of the reasons why we do not know is because their "no" or disapproval is not vocal or obvious for us to hear and understand.
However, when people are willing to bear our burden unconditionally, it'll be written on their mood, their tone, or even their level of willingness
However.......
.....even if we've confirmed this, it's important to ask people if they're okay with bearing our burden, since we understand how cumbersome it can be. For example, I've had to be dependent for over 50% of my life, this is when I've come to understand the importance of gratitude.
When you've never been dependent on people, it makes you unconscious of the need for gratitude especially when you get into a condition where you now have no choice but to be dependent on others. There are people in life who are not necessarily bad, but because of the way our lives are wired, these people become inappropriate for us.
There are people who under normal circumstances are very good, but their depth of goodness has a certain limit to it
However when you find yourself asking these people to go beyond their limits to be the person you want them to be, then it becomes infringing, it means you're asking them to go beyond their definition of acceptance or level of normalcy to accommodate us and this is wrong on all front.
We should know that we can never define people, or bend them to suit our narrative and expectations unless they're willing to be redefined, or they're allowing us to shape them to our satisfaction. There's no need to be angry when people refuse to change, lower or increase their standards for us. And expecting anyone to do so without their own free will is terrible.
A Selfless Point Of View.
Inasmuch as I want to be accepted, either by a job or someone, since I fear rejection, I'm always open to it because I cannot automatically expect people to compromise their essence, their limitations, or principles just to make room for me. Now, it's important to establish a high level of consciousness when dealing with people.
No matter how close we seem with people on the surface, challenging times are what prove that this closeness we see is up to the extent we see it. At the same time, it's also wrong to feel bad when we expect more from people based on our outward assessment of them. No matter who we are, we must understand that asking people to bear our burden, no matter our closeness with them is always infringing.
Now, the love they feel for us is what becomes the definitive factor
Because when people are truly endeared to us, they'll no longer see a burden, they see an opportunity to express the love they have for us. However on the base core, we cannot enter that plane with people easily, and this is why we shouldn't attach ease with our burdens since it's even difficult for us to bear alone. Sometimes, I'm someone who loves to save people from themselves.
Some people profess love and endearment from the surface of their hearts, but you can easily tell that these people would melt when it comes to them proving it. Challenging situations test the resolve of people, this is why sometimes I let people go, because it'll be harsh for me to let challenging times test their resolve because it's totally not bad if people cannot withstand hard times.
Fortitude & Genuinety In People
It is not everyone who can muster the fortitude to bear hard times, and while it's easy for us to call them fake friends, the first thing we should consider is their strength and mental resolve. Some people might be good in their own way, but we know that in our books, their goodness might not just be enough for us.
Because of this, we cannot label them bad people, the fact that resolve wouldn't come in handy when we're in a difficult situation and need them might not change anything. In reality, I do not call anyone a "fake friend" rather I see them as people who are not willing to bear our burden and there's nothing wrong with it. When people refuse to accept us infringing on them, we must consider their point of view and cut them slacks in all situation.
Interested in some more of my works?
Reviewing A $400 Samsung Galaxy A72 (photos Included)
Hive's Scalability & The Compromise Of Commitments
Money: The Consequences Of Making The Right & Wrong Decisions
The Nigerian Economy: Monopolizing Incompetence
The Experiential Process of Understanding Money
A Case Of Theft On Hive: Here's Why Some People Choose Scam.
