What's one way to tell someone you don't ever want a certain moment to end?
Life doesn't always stay as the way it is. You go through difficult obstacles and cross several roads at once. With each and every step, you bring profound memories from different people, in different places.
30th of May marks the ultimatum, the end of my junior high school journey. A bittersweet moment if you ask me.
My mother always told me to enjoy and make the most of my junior days, since senior years would be far much more different then. Being a senior student is just a step closer to choosing a path into the future, which is why it is supposed to be taken seriously. However in junior years, you can still be carefree and child-like, exploring and finding your own ways and making a journey filled with either the most heartbreaking or mirthful moments of your life. I was always one to photograph these kinds of memories any chance I could get. To say the least, I am a very sentimental person and although I am not the kind to scroll back into the past, I tend to keep them in store, just for when I need something to look up to or to trace my steps from where I came from. I was and still am grateful for encountering such amazing people in my life. They might not be perfect, but in my eyes, they are just right.
A lot of things circulated during those 4 years, although half of it was taken away by the pandemic. Still, I have learned a lot of things all throughout my journey here. As the emotional person I am, I tried my very best to not shed tears during our moving up ceremony, knowing that in a few more days, others who are very close to me would take matters into their own hands; leaving us behind to follow the path they've always dreamed of having. I am very proud of how everyone dealt with the different kind of issues we have faced in the past and present. We may have different ways to conquer it, but we still made it anyway.
Admittedly, I also had many regrets that I couldn't get rid of my mind. So many doubts and what ifs that took over my whole mentality that I changed into a whole new person, started to put less effort into my studies, and became lazy, too occupied to even pick up a hobby or two even if I had loads of time. I'd spent countless days in bed, either eating or looking at my phone screen. I'd keep ranting about the amount of school works that progressed every single day and end up crying about it but still doing it without another choice. I handled my life pretty badly and I went through different points and turns. Same goes for the people I've met. I've encountered people with unidentical personalities. Some were hard to read and understand, others were confusing, some were soft, outgoing, bubbly, or introverted, reserved, and laid-back people. Throughout those years, I tried to mingle with them and form new friendships, especially when 10th grade came around and our classes were shuffled so we ended up getting to know some of those who belonged to the other section. I never knew them well enough to be equally comfortable when starting a conversation but I ended up doing it anyway.
To be honest, even with my closest friends, I realized that I never would actually know how everyone lives their life everyday. Some might have the same ongoing, endless routine that I have while others might be productive, or even neutral. You'll never know how someone truly tries to carry our their life, whether it may be hard or easy to go on with. Although these people treat me with different attitudes, personalities and give me various signs, nothing will ever change the way I see them. We might've left off on a rocky road, a rustling meadow, or on a traffic light- with friendships on and off, wrecked and brought with havoc, or those that simply faded away. But that doesn't change the fact that I indeed shared with them my own. Even the tiniest bit of response or the simplest compliment is enough to leave an impression on someone, even when they take it lightly or not. Now that it's all coming to an end, these people will remain somewhere, a place where only we know of.
If there are some things I've learned in high school, it would not just be about all the memories that were kept, but the souls that lie deep within. With each passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month, or year, we turn into different versions of ourselves. We carry different burdens, insights, emotions, attitudes that we either left along the trail or carried on with, or faced it. We won't always remain the same. The people who you knew before, won't be the same as when you meet them in the future. The slightest bit of change matters and sometimes, you won't even be able to recognize them anymore. Changes are vast and unfamiliar faces may appear, but always make sure to live the best out of it. Live your life knowing that you're doing it not out of regret, but for the sake of your own stories to write and tell in the future. This is just simply the beginning of everything. Farewells, soft hearts, and puddles of tears are inevitable. But never forget that the moment will always remain as it is.
Life was never easy for any of us, but we managed to pull through despite everything. If you haven't heard of it today yet, I am proud of you. More than you'll ever know. You don't have to be so hard on yourself and push yourself to learn something just because you feel like doing it at the moment. Take your time to process everything and just give out your best.
Just like writing, it takes time to think about everything. You start with an empty paper and a pen in your hand before you think of a topic to write about, a title, an introduction- then the list goes on and on until you complete the page. Life is just pretty much the same. You're undecided and don't know where to start, so the page remains empty for a long time. But once you make the slightest bit of progress and find your purpose, you'll go on continuously without a bound, a chain to prevent you from finishing the whole page with an endless amount of indescribable words. Remember that in even the smallest things you do, you can always find a continuation to it, if you're willing to give it a try. Life won't get any easier from here, and it is important to always have yourself, before anyone else.
Okay I know. I'm starting to yap about random things here but hey, I just feel like this is a bittersweet moment for me y'know? In just a short span of time, I feel like I'm back to square one again. I'll certainly miss the friends I've met along the way, the funky faces that I was always so used to see. I had already prepared for this moment to come by for so long and now, I'm thankful that it happened. To everyone out there who just had their moving up ceremony, graduation, or recognition, you did great out there. To my friends, the ones who will stay and go, thank you for always sticking with me through thick and thin. No matter where I go, I'll always find a way to look back to where I came from. Home might not be the most suitable word for it, but for me, high school has been my escapade from all the worries in the world. For now, I'd like to savor and take in every moment with me, all the things that I've shared with you, my dear friends. If I could go back to the point where it all started, I'd keep doing it again, even if it meant I also had to go through the most painful times because I know, I'll always find my way back and replace that frown with a smile that someone could easily put on my face just because of a silly joke or gesture. Sounds cliche right? But hey, I'm saying the truth. Anyway, the night isn't getting any younger and it's late. If you've read up to this line, well then thanks for appreciating the effort I've done to make this.
Today, I leave this path and enter a new chapter of my life. I will carry those moments I've loved, lost, and will cherish it until the very last moment. You were a tough ride, SRNHS. I'll always remember you.
Once again, thank you to everyone who has become a big part of my journey here in junior high school. Take care and hopefully, we'll see each other again.
Thank you so much for reading my blog! This was the longest one yet and I enjoyed every single moment of making this. Until next time!