From my childhood I always wanted to have friends but my luck was pretty bad since the beginning. Even now I have few friends but I am happy with what I have now. I don’t have any expectations as I had in my childhood. I always wanted a big group of friends but never had it. In 6th grade I made a bestfriend Promita and I was soo happy that finally I have a bestfriend. I had promised that no matter what I will stay by her side and always be friends forever till we grow old. But somehow, for some critical situation I had to break the promise which took a turn in my life and also our bond was broken.
She was my best-friend I used to treat her like a princess. She was just a like sister to me because I don’t have siblings. I have always cared for her like an elder sister even though at that time she was very smarter than me. I used to think that I have to take care of her.
Her guardian angel
In that time her mother used to body shame her a lot because she weighted more than 80kg which was not acceptable for her mother. Also, her mother would not like her to use social media such as Facebook which is very popular in Bangladesh. Parents used to think it’s platform which can ruin a kid’s mindset and influence for bad things. So, I have always taken a stand for her in-front of her mom and stated some valid points which would calm her down. Promita used to call me her Guardian Angel because I used to save her from bad situations. I always have been protective towards her. Because I would be in pain whenever I saw her in pain.
Being Protective
She always have liked to live a fake life on social media with her different identity. I have never said anything but when I saw her dating someone if I would find them fishy and warn her about them but she never cared to listen. She used to meet them also they were very older than her. Because she used to say she is 20+ so the guys didn’t bother. I was very afraid that something bad might happen and that used to make me worry a lot because I used to think of her as my blood related sister. Later on they would break up and she would say I was right but each time she would repeat the same thing. Like she used to lie a lot and I have always tried to guide her politely. But she would just refuse to speak the truth.
Our bond
Our mother language is “Bangla” so, we are fluent in Bangla but at 6th grade we were learning English but not that much good at it. In our coaching I was the only girl who could type English in a little bit proper way. Promita and I were very close she used to trust me a lot so she sometimes provided me the email & password of her Facebook. Because she sometimes felt like arguing with Bengali people in English so that they would take her seriously some didn’t believe she was 20 and asked her to chat in English and she was not that good in English that’s why she used to ask me to login and reply to them. She used to write in Bangla in my inbox and I used translate them in English.
Betrayal
That’s how many months continued I used to help her like that but I never had tried to read any other conversations of her inbox. I never opened someone else’s chat and one day somehow a text popped up in the notification saying “nice picture” at that time I was texting someone as per she said. But I was confused that she told me she never gave someone a picture of her online. Then out of curiosity I checked the conversation with another guy and I saw she has sent my picture to that guy saying it’s her picture.
I was very frustrated and felt like my trust was broken. I never have used my pictures online and Promita just gave it randomly to an online guy. She knew I would never allow it but she actually did it without my permission. She used to ask for my pictures I used to think that she want to make collage’s with the pictures as a memory. But actually she used to take them to give them to the guys. I have always tried to protect her and she’s putting my privacy in public. She had told me she would never put my pictures online but she broke my trust. When I had asked why she did it she said “it’s nothing I was just seeing if he will believe it’s my picture or not, don’t worry I will ask him to delete your picture.” Still I was not feeling good I was feeling noxious and upset. That day I did let it go still I was always there for her.
Taking Stand
When I was in 9th grade someone in my class called Promita fat after seeing my picture with my best-friend. Then I did say some things with some pure words without disrespecting and that girl cried after that. I was very angry that how could she bodyshame my bestfriend. When I told my bestfriend she was very happy that I took a stand for her. Another day, she was telling me some girls in her class called me something and made fun of me and I asked Promita “what did you say?” She said “They are bad girls, I should not say anything against them. I have just laughed it off with them.” I was very upset that she didn’t take any stand for me and I didn’t say a word after that.
Scars
Then in the month of June out of nowhere she came up to me saying I am 3rd class which is very insulting thing to say. It’s like calling someone lower class because they don’t take a stand in-front of higher classes whom are rich in wealth. I asked her why she is saying that to me then she replied “It was a dare” I said “but I am your bestfriend why would you say those mean words for a dare?” Then she replied “so what? I was just joking!”
Then I replied “okay fine, can you tell me the name whom you are playing with?” She replied “why you don’t trust me!?” (She was getting aggressive) then I replied “it’s not because of that I just wanted to know her/his name that’s it” then she began to burst out her anger and egoistic behaviour saying that “how dare you doubting at me! no one would be your friend, no one ever liked you! You are luck to have me as your friend otherwise no one wanted to be your friend.”
Her words left me in tears and I was asking why she was behaving like this and at the end she said she didn’t wanna be friends anymore with someone like me. So, I let her be I said “okay, let’s end our friendship you will never see me again in your life, stay healthy and happy! Good bye”
So, when I was her best-friend I kept her like a crown on my head also no matter what I didn’t care about if it was her fault or not I used to apologise every time and never heard a sorry from her side which never bothered me. Her religion is Hindu and mine is Muslim which never made me feel any difference I never cared about her culture or from where she belonged and I respected her still I do. In my opinion religion can never bring impact on friendship or be barrier.
I did promise to stay with her and keep our friendship but on that day it felt like too much and I could not tolerate anymore. So, I broke our friendship.
Consequences
After that I never tried to contact her and I closed my account switched to a new one but she always had the number of my mom but never bothered to call. I never had stalked her account online but I always had her in my heart hoping that one day she will realise and try to contact me. Scars which I can never forget which lead to me to have no friends who is a girl. I had stopped talking with the girls. I also forgot how to make a conversation. She didn’t try to contact me which made me feel like maybe I was the one who was wrong.
After her disappearance from my life I kept myself busy with gaming more and more which lead me to get a name and fame. She doesn’t know I am the famous girl gamer “Haya” because I am always wearing a mask online and totally unrecognisable. After a big success I wanted to tell her about my journey but I didn’t feel safe around her anymore to reveal my truth. So, I decided to watch her from a distance.
I have felt betrayal & disrespect which made me take this decision to break the promise. Of course, I don’t like when someone break promises and not acceptable to me but in some cases like this I think it would be a right choice.
THANKS FOR READING💖
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- Photos collected from Canva and edited with PicsArt Mobile app and Canva
- All content are mine unless otherwise noted
