Yesterday one of my old aunts messaged me, she was checking with me when I will be visiting her town and meet her. She stays in the same city where my sister and mom stay. My whole maternal family stays in the same city Ahmedabad. It is quite a distance from Mumbai, by train it takes 7 hours. It's not very convenient for me to visit often. When I travel to India, it is always for a short duration and I have so many things to catch up on so making this visit is difficult. My mom comes and stays with me for 3 months in a year so that all the more relaxes me to not visit that place.
Coming back to the conversation with my aunt. Over the years that I have known her, she has always had this habit of complaining and hence I do not like to make much of conversation with her. It's not that I do not want to be helpful, but there are some people who only complain and never do anything to change their life and rather do things to make their lives complicated. Her state is also a little sad as she has 2 daughters and her husband is also around, but she does not get along with her husband and her 1 daughter and keeps complaining all the time over money matters. Lately she has not been keeping very well and she was telling me that I should visit her once before she closes her eyes forever.
It is painful to hear such things and when people talk of dying, I am sure they are not in the best of their mental health. It is sad when there is a family but the family does not love each other and does not take care of each other. She was mentioning to me that she does not like to eat and she has become very weak. I cannot change really what's going on in her life except for giving her financial help, because what goes on in their minds and what mess they create because of that is beyond my control. But I was telling her that where her health is concerned, she has to take charge of it by herself. No one else is going to do that for her. Everyone is busy in their life, no one is much bothered. These are the sad but hard realities of life.
When children grow up, you never know how they are going to behave with their parents. It is best for parents to be not dependent on them in any way and be self-sufficient, self-dependent and in control of their lives as much as possible. Money cannot buy love but it will at least be able to buy things needed for survival and not make the old parents feel helpless. At the same time, I also believe that what you sow you reap. If parents have not done good parenting in the growing up of their children, then they will also have to bear the consequences because lack of love be it from whichever side and whichever stage in life is going to dampen relations.
My best advice that I could give her was that why cannot they forget all the hatred they have towards each other and come together, sort out their differences and live lovingly with each other. That will resolve all their problems of life. Hatred only brings pain and it just keeps making life miserable.
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