I opened the window and inhaled the sea air of the French Riviera, the Cote d'Azur as the French call it. I stood there, inhaled deeply again and could pick the saltiness of the ocean, earthy scent of the trees and earth.
I had spent the last few months meandering the coastline and deeper into the Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur region; Aimless wandering. I had no set destination or any firm plans other than putting one foot in front of the other and to rediscovering who I was, and why; An adventure to new places, to find myself again, because I was lost.
One thing that I recall helping me on that journey was the windows. I don't mean the frame and glass although some were ornate and interesting enough; I mean what I saw from them. Sometimes amazing views of the Mediterranean, red-tiled roofs, market stalls and people going about their lives, to open fields, ancient stone walls and cottage gardens.
I'd wake each day, open the window, and simply stand there soaking in the view, just looking upon whatever I saw there. It became a ritual and no matter what was outside of that window I felt a deep sense of gratitude, and a little bit more myself each time.
It wasn't always a perfect view, but I had woken up that day, had a life I could pursue and an improving attitude to help me find the best version of that life. I think it was all I could have hoped at the time.
I've learned, throughout my life, that adversity will strike no matter what we do; It is so often out of our control to avoid and so it comes unawares, sneaks up and kicks us in the stomach, more often than not; It did for me.
I have also come to understand whilst adversity may be difficult to avoid, and to cope with when it comes, it is attitude that smooths the path towards the new destination born of that adversity. It is that which gives us the impetus to face it, clarity to evaluate it, and courage to delve into it with the view towards a resolution, or at least understanding and new paradigm.
I found myself on that journey in France. I was where I had always been, I just needed to open the window to myself and see the changes that adversity brings, and to embrace them; A thing I seemed not able to do in the position I was in back at home. I was the same me, but different; Better? No, I think not, just different.
It seemed I was always opening windows and seeing red brick walls; At home, in the head-space I was in, I couldn't see the big picture. Add in some aimless meandering, distance and perspective from my troubles, and I began to see different things within myself. My attitude changed, as did my paradigm.
It felt like every time I physically opened one of those windows I had the chance to live a brand new version of life, and tell, a fresh story.
allover
Photo by Amel Majanovic on Unsplash