Así fue como me invitó Ariel a ver el mundo a través de sus manos. Tenía tan solo 8 años y estaba jugando en la calle con su maleta; nos topamos sin imaginarlo, sin saber que me iba a condenar su cordura desde ese entonces a mis 35 ya había vuelto a casa asustada y olvidada pero él era una luz, tenía una enorme sonrisa de paisaje, unido a sus manos telescópicas con las cuales podía ver lo que el azar y la naturaleza le habían negado.

Esa mañana iba saliendo muy rápido, ya casi era la hora del trabajo como la mayoría del tiempo se me había complicado todo. Fijé mi mirada en el retrovisor y pude sentir desaparecer el reloj de mano.
Vivíamos en un pueblo alejado de la ciudad, las casas eran distantes unas a otras, cada propietario poseía sendos terrenos para el cultivo y la cría de ganado así que se podía creer en cualquier abrupto. Me sorprendió ver a un niño jugando sobre la tapa del alcantarillado en medio de la calle montado en su closet que llevaba ruedas y él lo arrastraba como un carro haciendo círculos sobre la tapa y retumbando mis oídos con su particular sonido, entonces me detuve para saber si podía ayudarlo a encontrar a sus padres o en tal sentido si estaba perdido pero no fue así; el niño era tan hermoso que creí estaría perdido, me invitó a tomar su mano y a jugar con él sugiriendo que me sentara a su lado y me metiera en su maleta. La verdad dudé en hacerlo para evitar ensuciarme y le dije: ven tú conmigo, te mostraré el caballo La intención era alejarlo de la calle y dejarlo seguro no obstante mi sorpresa fue cuando de inmediato me hizo la pregunta ¿Qué es un caballo?_ Jamás he visto uno… descríbelo, hazlo como puedas_ y así entendí todo.

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That was how Ariel invited me to see the world through his hands... He was only 8 years old and he was playing in the street with his suitcase; we bumped into each other without imagining it, without knowing that I was going to condemn his sanity since then, at 35 years old, I had already returned home scared and forgotten but he was a light, he had a huge smile of landscape, together with his telescopic hands with which he could see what chance and nature had denied him.
That morning I was leaving very fast, it was almost time for work as most of the time everything had been complicated for me. I fixed my gaze on the rearview mirror and I could feel my watch disappearing.

We lived in a village far from the city, the houses were distant from each other, each owner owned land for farming and raising cattle so you could believe in any abrupt. I was surprised to see a child playing on the manhole cover in the middle of the street mounted on his closet that had wheels and he was dragging it like a cart making circles on the cover and ringing my ears with his particular sound, then I stopped to know if I could help him to find his parents or in that sense if he was lost but it was not so; the child was so beautiful that I thought he would be lost, he invited me to take his hand and play with him suggesting me to sit next to him and get into his suitcase. The truth is that I hesitated to do it to avoid getting dirty and I told him: come with me, I will show you the horse The intention was to take him away from the street and leave him safe, however my surprise was when he immediately asked me the question: What is a horse? I have never seen one... describe it, do it as you can_ and that's how I understood everything. We lived in a village far from the city, the houses were distant from each other, each owner owned land for farming and raising cattle so you could believe in any abrupt. I was surprised to see a child playing on the manhole cover in the middle of the street mounted on his closet that had wheels and he was dragging it like a cart making circles on the cover and ringing my ears with his particular sound, then I stopped to know if I could help him to find his parents or in that sense if he was lost but it was not so; the child was so beautiful that I thought he would be lost, he invited me to take his hand and play with him suggesting me to sit next to him and get into his suitcase. The truth is that I hesitated to do it to avoid getting dirty and I told him: come with me, I will show you the horse The intention was to take him away from the street and leave him safe, however my surprise was when he immediately asked me the question: What is a horse? I have never seen one... describe it, do it as you can_ and that's how I understood everything.

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Ariel tenía una discapacidad sensorial severa, había nacido con una ceguera total; desconozco como llegó al pueblo y para mí en ese momento no había tiempo de averiguarlo, continuó con su insistencia del caballo y me quedé perpleja describiendo un animal que raramente no sabía cómo hacerlo. Percibí que había bajado por mi frente ese liquido azul de mis fotografías y se hizo tan evidente tras una herida abierta a mi memoria, perdida de inmediato podía oír mis latidos que eran fuertes y rápidos al mismo tiempo sin embargo seguí intentando dar zarpazos en la descripción. Una descripción de terror que no era lo que comúnmente esperaría de mi luego creí ver un destello, logré ver lo tarde que iba y aun debía organizar su cumpleaños. Ariel al escucharme sintió la necesidad de estar seguro y preguntó si podía abrazarme; sin embargo dudé un poco en aceptar porque ningún extraño me había hecho tal petición y en su caso era necesario porque él podía sentirme y reconocer todos mis afectos anestesiados a través del tacto e incluso sabia de mi caos, mis escritos aplanados y de esos vacios en tormentas. Al abrazarme fue como si una corriente alterna causara un escalofrío en mis sentidos y fue especial totalmente.

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Ariel had a severe sensory disability, she had been born with total blindness; I don't know how she arrived in town and for me at that moment there was no time to find out, she continued with her insistence of the horse and I was perplexed describing an animal that I rarely knew how to do it. I sensed that it had gone down my forehead that blue liquid from my photographs and it became so evident after an open wound to my memory, lost immediately I could hear my heartbeat which was loud and fast at the same time however I kept trying to give paw prints in the description. A description of terror that was not what I would commonly expect from me then I thought I saw a flash, I managed to see how late I was going and I still had to organize her birthday. Ariel upon hearing me felt the need to be safe and asked if he could hug me; however I hesitated a little to accept because no stranger had ever made such a request and in his case it was necessary because he could feel me and recognize all my anesthetized affections through touch and he even knew about my chaos, my flattened writings and those emptinesses in storms. When he embraced me it was as if an alternating current caused a shiver in my senses and it was totally special.

En seguida Ariel siguió su camino sin ningún desperdicio, me dejó ahí cómo si hubiera cumplido conmigo una especie de intercambio de flujo energético alterno y hubiera transformado mis ciclos irregulares de retorcidos movimientos y emociones en una constante. Más tarde igual a una veleta averiada con dirección hacia un destino ya visible pero incierto; jamás volví a ver a ese niño, no sé aun si fue ése el día del accidente de auto que creí ver una ráfaga de Viento y tristemente arrojarlo todo, quizá fue producto de mis alucinaciones; solo sé que desde que mi presente es estar sentada en una melancólica silla puedo ver desaparecer mis pies de la calle a diario. Al cerrar mis ojos, un pasado que ya no quiere regresar, donde el caballo de mi vecino se ve aparentemente normal comiendo pasto sin remordimientos de conciencia por tomar agua de los restos que quedan de la lluvia y ver pintada a lo lejos la casa más cercana una playa sin mar. Aquí me veo, presa del fantasma extraño que siempre llega a mi hogar para darme de comer y asearme luego me sienta ahí en el portal donde todo permanece frio pero de lo que estoy más segura es que en mi memoria crecen los agujeros llenos de personas que no logro escanear, crecen como cardos las conversaciones sin sentido y los apuros de las compras nerviosas para cumpleaños que ya no tienen motivos felices. Los objetos desaparecieron por completo y me quedan sus espíritus añejados en la botella con una tapa de amargura. Mi voz se esconde tras la almohada cuando escucha reír a las sombras en la habitación corren a preguntarme, si ése que se fue… algún día regresará a decirme mamá.

Then Ariel went on her way without any waste, she left me there as if she had fulfilled with me a kind of alternate energy flow exchange and transformed my irregular cycles of twisted movements and emotions into a constant. Later, just like a broken weather vane heading towards an already visible but uncertain destination; I never saw that child again, I don't know if it was even that day of the car accident that I thought I saw a gust of Wind and sadly threw it all away, maybe it was a product of my hallucinations; I only know that since my present is sitting in a melancholic chair I can see my feet disappearing from the street daily. When I close my eyes, a past that no longer wants to return, where my neighbor's horse looks apparently normal eating grass without remorse of conscience for drinking water from the remains of the rain and seeing painted in the distance the nearest house a beach without sea. Here I see myself, prey to the strange ghost that always comes to my home to feed me and clean me then sits there in the doorway where everything remains cold but what I am most sure of is that in my memory grow holes full of people I can't scan, grow like thistles meaningless conversations and nervous shopping rushes for birthdays that no longer have happy motives. The objects are completely gone and I am left with their spirits aged in the bottle with a cap of bitterness. My voice hides behind the pillow when I hear the shadows in the room laugh and run to ask me, if the one who left... will someday come back to tell me mom.