I think I have a plan. I sit in front of my computer system contemplating what next to write about, what steps to take and move forward cus I have a dream.
If I do nothing everything remains as it is (unchanged) I know this for sure as that was my life for some months before I started making changes in trickles though inconsistent. I made the decision to awake from this mirage of sadness. Why is it a mirage? It is a mirage because it's not real (I made it up, maybe one more excuse of mine) I know who I am even if I have to remind myself almost every day in front of a mirror that I am gorgeous, brave, bold, strong, beautiful and can achieve anything I set my heart to do.
I came this far.
That was my story and it can very well still be my story right now and for the future.
I have a dream, it scares me sometimes that I contemplate over the strategies to get their and never really make the next move cus deep down I know there will be tough times and some NO’s which is necessary for growth but for fear of these unknown pain and stress, I still sit reminiscing.
I listened to a podcast today and was asked this question ‘what if this year was your last year to live?’ that brought me to tears and I still write this with teary eyes as I remember my friends sister who did what she felt good about, immediately she felt it and regretted later, if she ever regretted it. A sickle cell warrior who was always in and out of the hospital.
When she felt minimal pain, she made videos dancing and vibing to songs she listened to and loved. She was always in pain and she embarrassed it not using the the pain as an excuse (she has every right to use it as an excuse and will very well be pardoned).
She made short videos mimicking short films she loves not caring if she had followers or likes as long as she felt good doing them. Didn't look her best and didn't feel her best, she did them anyway. Her genuine joy, laughter and peace showed through. She passed on last year and her brother kept posting her short videos of awkward dances, laughter and smiles on his WhatsApp status. And they go on and on and on. I watched every one of them again and again. It felt like she was alive as I laughed and smiled then came to a realization that she was gone then teary again. That you find it hard to believe such a lively soul is gone. Which makes me feel like she knew she was going to die or maybe she just chose to live like it. Rest on Miriam
F..k the scary NO’s and the fear of the unknown. If it feels good and makes crazy sense I will do it and maybe regret later or maybe not. I have decided to post on hive on a daily and I will be posting my first YouTube video today.
To be sure I will be consistent at it, I have an accountability partner who will bill me a lot $ if I missed any of the things I am accountable to him for and vice versal. Thanks @tykee🫂
Ladies and gentlemen. I AM UP!💪
Take one step at a time baby, God has your back.😍After all, we were never promised tomorrow. #hugs