Pepper's Story Continues ..

With TERRIBLE news. To tell you the absolute truth, I don't feel like writing anything. I don't feel like posting anything. I don't feel like doing much of anything at all. After a phone call from the critical care vet hospital tonight, I retreated to my home studio.

I sit here in the quiet, away from any distractions, reflecting on the last 14.4 years of my time with him. All sorts of things are going through my mind. Memories of all of the good times. I sit and stare at his little bunk bed and at my feet (where he would be found if he were home). I need the solitude to process my thoughts and determine what life will be like without my little buddy around. I begin to cry as the thoughts flood my head. I need to do it. I need an emotional release and desperately need the relief from these thoughts, that only a good set of tears helps bring about. Sometimes I try to be too strong and have a hard time bringing them about. My head is sore, I have a knot in my throat, and my eyes are burning something terrible. I cry it out and it's over for now.

I took that moment for myself and my head feels better. I reorganized my thoughts to tolerable ones and know I need to speak to my wife about what I fear most.. Pepper not returning home. If anyone feels the same way, it is her. If anything, we want him here at home to live out what time he has left. We want him to die in our arms and not on some cold steel table around people, sounds, and smells he is unfamiliar with. I want him to die around those who love him most; My wife, Molly and myself. That's what I want for Pepper. A proper ending to a GREAT life.

Back Tracking ..

Pepper was not feeling well for a few days. He became lethargic, wobbly on his feet, stopped eating, and became depressed. We took him to our regular veterinarian for a check-up and blood work. The results of the blood work came back and things were not looking good for the poor guy. They suggested that we get him to an emergency care facility as soon as possible. He needed fluids and 24 hour care. We immediately took him on a 45 minute drive to a local 24hr care facility, where we had a grueling and emotional filled 4 hour wait to be seen. After he was finally admitted, we were told that due to his critical condition and blood work results, expect he will be in there care for several days.

His Prognosis ..

As of tonight is uncertain. The emergency care doctor explained to my wife and I that he has advanced stages of Chronic Kidney Disease, and that it can not be reversed. We have to painfully wait and see what happens next. We are waiting on test results for various things, for his blood numbers to improve, for him to respond to the IV treatments, and for him to eat. There are a lot of uncertainty's and a lot of waiting to come. If he responds to the treatments and his blood work improves, then there stands a chance that he make make it back home to Molly, my wife and I. This is exactly what we are praying for.

If you could here me now Pepper.. We know you have the STRENGTH to fight this and get HOME to us. We LOVE you and miss you so very, very much. It's not the same happy home without you here.

Thank You For Letting Me Vent ..

I didn't want to write anything, this depression is killer, but I am glad I took a few minutes to do it. I feel much better now that I got that all off my mind into words. I apologize for the depressing rant. Thank you for the support and for the thoughts and prayers, if you can spare them. I will try to post an update once we get any news otherwise.

Thank you for swinging by my blog and checking out the post. Have a great day!

“The worst type of crying wasn't the kind everyone could see--the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived.”

― Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits

All words, pictures and art pieces are the sole property of B D Miller Gallery, unless otherwise noted and credited, and are not to be reproduced or copied without the prior written consent of B D Miller Gallery.

About Me ~ The Artist

My art work incorporates a wide variety of subject matter, including landscape, seascape, cityscape, and still life images. My works are the product of a continuing process of exploration through which I seek to portray personal and visionary interpretations of my surroundings. My paintings are impressions of places and events from everyday life, an interpretation of my imagination, and personal responses to what I see and feel on a daily basis. More recently I have invested generous amounts of time into my landscape painting. I am surrounded by natural and man made beauty, which inherently presents itself in the tri-state area, and almost demands that I paint it.

Not everything is art. Art is not everything, but it comes close. Art is everywhere and all the time. Art makes you experience the beauty of the world, the people in it, and the places we call home. Art itself is so influential that it can tell stories, show feelings, and express passion or fury. Art exists in addition to language; expression of sensations and thoughts, revealing a way of thinking too subtle and delicate for words.

For me art requires love, honesty and perseverance. In return, it reveals some personal, non-analyzable, and creative untamed passion. For the public, art with its magnificent beauty, improves mood and health and builds better human beings and communities. It engages the intellect, softens the heart, strengthens the soul and frees the spirit.

If Your Interested In Purchasing Any Of My Work:

They can be found for sale on

Saatchi Art

Or

Etsy

If you don't see the piece in either shop, It may still be drying. Let me know and I can upload it as soon as possible to be available. Or you can always make me an offer (in HBD, Hive or any other crypto) in the comments section of this post. If we agree on a price, I will then ship the painting to you. (shipping costs will be determined by your location).

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