I’ve had so many people tell me that in todays world women have an upper hand over men. In a way, it is very true because since the issue of everyone or should I say women advocating for gender equality, things have changed a lot. Today, people even believe women more than men in some instances. Imagine a woman going to the police to report a rape case. Even if it is a lie, the man involved would face the charges and in most cases, these man are not even given the opportunity to speak their truth.
But, in the midst of all these happenings there’s always those group of women who don’t get to enjoy the whole change other women are having the chance to experience. If you take a closer look, it’s mostly women who find themselves in areas where if they’re not allowed these kinds of opportunities people will start to point fingers that get to actually make good use of these opportunities. And even with this, trust me, most people are against it especially some men who are not ready for a mentality shift but in that moment, all they can do is sit and watch because once they make a move, everyone will talk.
I’m not a feminist, but I’m also not one to sit and watch my fellow women suffer. Every day, a girl child is being given off to marriage against her will and everyone just sits and watches. You’d think this only happens in Nigerian movies or in the villages but it’s happening right in our communities. Just today, I had a discussion with a friend who told me she’s planning on getting married a few months after she completes university and this decision is not because that’s what she wants but because the pressure at home is too much.
This is someone who has so much potential if given the opportunity. But due to the pressure on her, she’s forced to bring in her man for marriage or be given off to someone she doesn’t know. The good thing is, she plans to get married to someone who is educated and knows what she wants so her dreams won’t be shattered because she’s married. But then again, how many of our young girls, sisters, and cousins are able to say no or survive this whole child marriage tradition? How many of them even get to live a happy life in their marriages and how many of them get to go to school, pursue their dreams and aim for the stars?
Also, tell me why some people still have the mentality that women belong in the kitchen. I know we all say we have evolved and things are changing which means we are all having a mentality shift but trust me, some people will never have that mentality shift. And this is not because they can’t, they just choose not to even though they know the truth. Imagine investing in your girl childs education from Crèche up until university and even further only for one man who calls himself a husband to marry her and prevent her from putting all of her education to use. The worst part is, this husband is poor and still won’t allow the lady to work. I really don’t mind a rich man asking his wife to stay at home because he doesn’t want to stress her out and he even decides to put her on a monthly salary. But you a poor man who’s struggling to even put food on the table is preventing someone who is supposed to be your support system from even supporting you in her own little way. And they say, that’s the tradition. Some even go as far as saying that’s what God said.
I always tell my friends that there’s a whole lot going on but we only see the things we want to see. Women are being oppressed and it’s happening right before us. There are some rooms you’ll walk into and realise that women are not even allowed to share their views and these things are not going to change until we learn to stand up for ourselves as women. We are not going to have someone to save us all the time, we need to stand up and save ourselves.
all images belong to me.
This is my entry to the #octoberinleo prompt day 9. Read more about it here- October INLEO writing prompt.
