I am the eldest child, so I have to do a lot of death anniversaries in a year. Today is my grandfather's death anniversary.
Yesterday my wife went to the market to buy fruits and food to prepare for the anniversary.
This morning I got up early to light incense and offer fruits. Usually, the anniversaries are in the morning but because everyone in my family has to work and can’t take a day off, we do it in the afternoon.
Around 3 p.m. two trays of food were ready. My wife and my sister brought the food up to the altar for me to perform the ceremony.
The usual tray of food has chicken, sticky rice, pork rolls, pork or beef sausage, spring rolls, boiled or stir-fried vegetables, traditional wine and others. The dipping sauce can be broth or fish sauce.
The tray of food was placed on the table. I poured wine into the cups and placed them next to the bowls. The bowls were not filled with rice yet for the ancestors to drink wine. Then, I lit incense and stuck it on the incense burners. The incense burner in the middle worships Buddha, the incense burner on the left worships the gods and spirits, and the incense burner on the right worships my ancestors.
On the altar when performing the ceremony, there must be a betel leaf with an areca berry and some lime water on it. Clear water and a burning oil lamp or candle are indispensable. Water can be placed in a set of teapot or in cups. Votive money or real money can be used to offer.
Decorative lights and some flowers like lily, chrysanthemum, rose…are also often used to make the ceremony more beautiful, showing the respect and gratitude of the descendants to their ancestors.
I burnt incense and prayed for buddhas, deities, my ancestors and my grandfather.
When the incense burned two-thirds, I filled rice into the bowls for the ancestors to eat rice. According to custom, rice offerings are only filled once.
Around 5:30 p.m. the ceremony was over. The tray of food was brought down for everyone to enjoy. Before eating, the head of the family usually tells everyone who today is the anniversary of and everyone recalls memories with the deceased when they were alive with their family.
