the ring of hell


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Kitty had been widowed for several years now, and she'd gotten used to the spotlight being off of her, the attention being centered on her deceased husband. It had been two years since he'd passed, actually.

She had taken to her new role of widow and her new lack of "husband". That's what she liked to think of it. It gave her a sense of freedom that made her feel like she could move on with her life.

Not that she didn't love her husband of all of fourteen years. The loss had hurt like hell and the mourning still hadn't passed. Her husband had been her soul mate and someone that she wished to have with her forever. Even if she couldn't anymore. Having his love and high energy found a good permanent resting place in her heart.

With the loss of her husband, human contact was something she was forced to re-learn. For the most part, she'd been okay with that. She had a cat as a companion, and that was fine. She also used to have one of those crazy dogs that every four-legged friend seemed to have.

Now she had nothing; no pets, no friends, no human companionship, and a very small circle of acquaintances. That was fine.

She didn't want to feel bad about not having anyone to talk to about her troubles or to hold her when she cried. She was healing. She had to be. There was no other way to go, really.

But she had her memories, her photographs, and her very strong faith to keep her going on. That wasn't a bad thing. She accepted that and felt that she was fine with it. Really, she was.

She had her boutique and her friends that she made at her local church. That's all she needed.

Yet, she snuck into the corner of the park every evening and watched the young mothers and fathers who were so loving and patient with their children. Sometimes she watched the elderly movies that the local social club made a habit of running through the season. Watching the movies gave her a pang of loneliness, but it was a good loneliness.

It was that pang that came from missing something, she told herself. I would never have time for a dog, she'd say to herself after having one of these little sniffs of missing. That's what she told herself when her heart ached from a loss she knew she wouldn't ever be able to replace.

She liked living alone. It gave her the freedom to do whatever the hell she wanted. She didn't have to worry about waking up her husband. He was gone. She didn't have to worry about talking too loud, or having anyone listen to her. No one would judge her.

She could do as she pleased and pay college tuition for two of her three children. It all worked out.

One Wednesday, she was walking her dog through the park when she turned a corner and saw a young blond woman with a young boy clutching her hand. The woman was clutching a teddy bear and the boy still had the blank expression of someone who had just entered a fair, who's on the ride of his life, and had no idea that he wasn't supposed to be in there.

He looked at his mom and his mom smiled back at him, before both of them looked up to see Kitty standing nearby.

Kitty pulled back, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious. She turned, pulling her dog back on its leash, and started to walk away before she heard the woman's voice.

She turned back around seeing the woman say, "Don't be shy. Please keep coming. We were hoping you'd come along, if you're okay with that."

Kitty was stunned. She stood there, not sure how to respond. She hadn't thought anyone would notice her.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I didn't want to interrupt, so I turned away. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, it was okay and didn't bother at all. So, you're in the neighborhood?"

"Yeah, my dogs loved this park."

"Do you live in the neighborhood?"

"I used to, but no. I don't live around here anymore."

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe I would have seen you around then."

"No, don't be sorry. I didn't live near here. I live near the park behind the school."

"Oh, so nice. Do you live with anyone?"

"Well, no."

"Oh well, I'm sure you meet lots of people that way, being gone for the day. It must be nice."

"It is."

"So, are you going to join us? You don't have to if you don't want to. You were just walking past us, so we were talking to you."

"Oh, yes, sure. I'm not interrupting you, am I?"

"No, it's a good break. We're just having so much fun together, so that's good."

"Yeah, I thought that this place would feel like a good place, because there's no one here. It's nice, isn't it?"

"It is.

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