Coping with anxiety - 3 steps

This is based on my own experiences

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Step 1: Find an inner zen that works for you

The go-to thing people tend to tell a person with anxiety is, "breathe". Although this works for many people, it is not the only suitable means to dealing with anxiety. Personally, I hate it when people tell me to breathe as it actually makes the anxiety worse for me. If you are someone who experiences severe anxiety, you might find that trying to immediately do what someone is telling you will actually end up making you feel worse. My advice: take some personal time to figure out what will make you feel better should you find yourself in an anxious moment. Closing my eyes and focusing on my heartbeat usually helps for me. Someone I know focuses on saying the alphabet backwards in her head. Other tricks could include counting, singing your favourite song, or trying to distract yourself by attempting to solve a mathematical equation (e.g. If I have to drive to the closest town at 100 km/h, how long will it take me?)

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Step 2: It's ok to say that you want to be left alone

Sometimes our own company is exactly what we need. Us humans are often under a lot of pressure in terms of maintaining personal relationships with friends, family, and significant others. We often feel that we constantly have to do our best to tend to the needs of others and conform to social norms. The truth is that it is completely OK to say no sometimes without worrying about what others may think. If you are invited to a dinner party and you don't feel up to it the day of, say no. If your husband or wife invites the family over but you are not up for it, say no. If you don't feel like the usual Friday after-work drinks, say no. If being alone is what you need at that moment, then that is what you do. I have to add that this often requires a little bit of explaining which is totally fair, but don't feel pressured to do this every time. the only advice I can give you in this regard is to try and put yourself in your partner/friend/family member's shoes and explain the way you feel simply and clearly. Just remember to never apologize for what you feel.

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Step 3: One day at a time is enough

This is the most difficult step of the three but it's not impossible. Teach yourself to only focus on the present - what needs to happen right now? Not tomorrow, or next week, or in 5 years. If you can teach yourself to constantly live in the present you will find that your anxiety levels will decrease over time. Find a support group or someone you can confide in who understand how you feel. Moreover, if you are really struggling to cope, get medical help. Just because you might need medication to feel better, does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

You are not alone in this

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