Today as I tried to watch a movie I suddenly felt that I am sleepy and started to yawn. I thought to just turn off my PC for a while and try myself to get some sleep. But after shutting my eye I could not sleep at all, it is an odd thing to happen but I am not surprised.
I thought that it was my eve day of dialysis because it is my dialysis tomorrow that is why I am feeling off today. Now I do not want to do anything because I just feel ill although I can still make a post about it.
These are just one of the things that I have to endure in my life day in and day out which is a misery by itself. I do not know if I would be thankful about it because it has been so long and I am just tormented by always feeling not very good especially when I started to use my parathyroid medicine as it feels like I am on a survival mode trying to exist and not having the feeling of near-normal life.
So I will still be thankful if I would die one day having to leave all unfinished things behind. That is life and unfortunately I was the one who had landed in this kind of life that in my wildest dreams I even never had but it is a reality and I have no choice but to live with it.
The help of steem community the blows on me are softened up a bit but the misery is still there and I do not know when all these things will end, I just needed to have a rest, it is all tiresome already. But maybe tomorrow after my dialysis hok-up I will feel jolly again but for now I feel like shit again.