4 Lessons on Socializing and How To Make Friends From Game of Thrones
Lessons on Socializing and How To Make Friends From Game of Thrones
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Four lessons on socializing and how to make friends, based on the Game of Thrones hit series.
Thereâs not gonna be a single spoiler in this video so you donât have to worry.
If you havenât seen the latest episodes or seasons or even if you haven't watched it.
The only thing i'll be spoiling is Iâll be touching on some of the themes - which - if you've even heard of Game of Thrones, you already know that thereâs violence, sex and all that good stuff.
So what I want to talk about are four things that Game of Thrones does really well, and Iâm talking about the overarching series here.
Iâm not gonna be touching on any of the latest controversy of these losers who are complaining about whatever. You canât make everyone happy, and this bleeds straight into the number one thing that Game of Thrones does very well.
Which people who are great socializers, people of influence who have the choice of friends that they want, they do this as well.
And itâs being unapologetic about what it is.
Thatâs what Game of Thrones does so well, they have topics like incest, and rape, and violence, and murder - and it is very offensive, one might say, for all the themes which it covers in great detail.
And it doesnât apologize for this. Itâs very unapologetic for being that way and people love it for that.
Now let me relate that to you as a person. If we can become ourselves unapologetically, and really be ourselves and not hide it or dance around our character, our personality, our truth.
People gravitate towards that. People are attracted to that person and to that show.
The negative response is gonna be there, more so than if you were to do a really neutral sitcom that aims to please everybody, like: âtwo and a half men,â âbig bang theoryâ or âfriendsâ - any of those hit shows that aim to please everyone, theyâre also unapologetic but less so.
I mean theyâre dancing around the guidelines. HBO doesnât have to do that.
Theyâre not on a regular cable show so they can do whatever they want. And that's one of the major things.
So i suggest digging deep and looking at what are you not being truthful about in your own life, and trying to be less apologetic about those things.
Another thing Game of Thrones does very well throughout its series is it remains unpredictable.
Thereâs some predictability. We as humans - this is an old Tony Robbins thing - we need some certainty and we also need some uncertainty.
So some of our characters remain kind of true to themselves to one degree or another throughout the series and that gives us a sense of predictability and we like that, because we can rely on the characters.
What keeps us hooked and what gets us excited is that we don't really know what's gonna come next, thereâs always some unpredictable twist around the corner that we don't see coming.
And the way that you can incorporate this into your social life...look at the way you socialize as a habit now.
You probably have patterns, ways that you tend to go about greeting your coworkers, your classmates, your significant other, your friends, your family, the people at the front desk of the gym or the supermarket - whatever. You have a routine way of going about things.
Just look at that. Look at it in your mind.
Think about it right now. Youâll know. Youâll see. Youâll probably be able to just sense âoh yeah i know what i do, i know my patternâ so you could, literally just by doing something a little bit differently the next time you greet someone, could be something thatâs gonna change your predictability.
We like that Game of Thrones is unpredictable because it keeps us on our toes and weâre waiting, we donât know what's going to happen next and weâre excited to see that next thing.
If youâre not predictable, if youâre to some degree changing the way that you interact⌠honestly the best way to do it is to make it fun for yourself⌠youâll notice that people want to be around you more, people are more hanging on to see what you say, and more wanting to hang out with you.
Number three.
Another thing that Game of Thrones does very well is itâs very emotionally engaging, in the sense that it inspires a variety of emotions like a rollercoaster that it takes us through, from anger to fear to sadness, excitement, vulnerability, victory.
There are so many emotions in the human experience and Game of Thrones unlike some of these typical dumbed down network sitcoms for example, who focus on a couple of repetitive themes, Game of Thrones really goes deep into some vulnerabilities, into the real fear, into death, into rape, into some dark stuff, some real emotions.
It covers the complexity of the human experience to some degree, very well.
And itâs false to imagine like we watch in these network sitcoms that our lives look like that, they donât.
So in a way itâs more genuine, Game of Thrones because although it is a fantasy show - youâll have to excuse the bells behind me⌠The bells⌠Thatâs a little inside joke for those of you who get it.
Itâs disingenuous to believe that our lives look network sitcoms.
Even though Game of Thrones is a fantasy drama with a huge budget and it shows non-realistic magical type scenarios, in a way it's more emotionally real because it's talking about some real core issues that maybe not all of us are comfortable to talk about, and certainly arenât on TV very often.
So what can you do to mimic that? Iâll tell you right now: you can express yourself more.
Does that sound fun? Thatâs the trick.
The truth is, you can become as engaging as a Game of Thrones relative to you as a person - not exactly the same engaging - but relative to who you are as a person, you can become more of a Game of Thrones type engagement human.
Bad english Alex⌠anyway. Simply by being more expressive.
Not just talking about your wins, not just bragging all the time about your victories, but talking about your fears, your vulnerabilities, your weaknesses, the things that youâre struggling with.
Also sharing the victory, sharing the wins, and everything in between. Expressing your true self: the range of emotions that go on within you.
Itâs going to inspire an engagement and relatability from those around you that most others wonât get, because theyâre simply acting in their little pattern, and theyâre not really talking about the real sh*t thatâs going on with them. Thatâs number three.
Letâs move on to the last one before the sun goes down.
These were just off the top of the head. I'm sure i could come up with many more if you liked this type of thing - let me know in the comments.
Number four is, Game of Thrones takes a tremendous sense of pride in the way that it looks and in the way that it presents itself.
Itâs a visually stunning masterpiece in many many different ways across a decade now.
They have continued to get more visually impressive and at any one point in the story, people might disagree with that decision, but no one can deny that it has gotten more and more amazing in the way that its been presented to us visually.
My suggestion to you - if you think about that - the reason why we like that is that we care how stuff looks.
We care. Humans care about how stuff looks. Weâre visual, most of us with eyes.
We take stuff in visually and so theyâve put in hundreds of millions or more dollars into presenting it well.
You don't have to put hundreds of millions of dollars into how you look, but you should be mindful about how you look and how you present yourself.
You should be mindful. You should be trying to optimize, not just your outer appearance and the shallow elements like what you wear, your general fashion, your hygiene, your grooming - yes those are important, those are the outermost layer.
But then you have your fitness as well, which is still outer layer but it's a bit more important because it actually affects who are as well.
The way you present yourself (again these are just suggestions, do whatever you're going to do) youâre going to succeed more in your social life if you take pride in the way that you present yourself from the inside out.
Thatâs the way you express yourself, the way you look at people, the way you look at yourself (really thatâs where it really starts), but then it emanates out to the behaviors, in your body, physically what your level of fitness is, and how you present.
Do you make yourself as nice to look at as you can or are you just a slob? Because if you're a slob, you're not gonna be the Game of Thrones of social skills. You're gonna be like âThe Roomâ from Tommy Wiseau.. You're gonna be a lesser version.
To recap. The four lessons that Game of Thrones can teach you about socializing, social skills and how to make friends.
Number one: be unapologetic about how you are. You're gonna piss off some people but the people who like you are gonna then love you now.
Youâre gonna inspire much more loyalty and respect when you're unapologetically yourself even if you then also alienate some people who were never gonna be great friends anyway.
Number two: don't be boring and predictable. Try to add some element of creativity and novelty to the way that you interact with people. It's fun. It'll make people want to be around you and you'll enjoy socializing more as well.
Number three: be more emotionally engaging by sharing and expressing the true arc of your life, not just the wins, not just the neutral things that you talk about - but everything.
Try to open up and express more of the totality of the emotions you experience. You'll inspire others around you through your courage to be able to do that, you'll allow them, give them permission to also open up through going first and leading by example.
The last one, again, take pride in the way that you look and in the way that you present yourself. Obviously you could just ignore that and that would be your choice, but people will judge you differently.
So thatâs it. Those are the four off the top of the head lessons, it's getting a little bit dark here as I can see.
Thanks for sticking with me. About another hour or so before the last episode, the series finale, so whether youâre watching this before or after, or havent started the season or series, whatever the case is - hope you enjoyed and got something out of this.
If you did enjoy, please leave me a like, let me know in the comments below - have you started Game of Thrones.
If you have, where are you at, what are your thoughts.
Too many questions? Make it specific Alex. Whatever.
Leave me something in the comments, for now thatâs all Iâve got.
Appreciate you and speak soon. Adios!