County Health officials have determined that Miss June Autrey accidentally poisoned the congregation of the First Baptist Church of Chickawasee with her potato salad at the church New Year's social in the community room. Doctors at Chickawasee Health Clinic attributed the twenty-seven cases of explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting to food poisoning from the mayonnaise used in the popular side-dish and contacted officials. It could not be determined if the mayonnaise in the potato salad became tainted from sitting un-refrigerated under a heat vent during Rev Clyde Smooter's service or if it was a bad batch from the Blessed Redeemer Discount Grocery and Coupon Exchange #2 on Hwy 16.
A number of attendees who did not become ill and wish to remain anonymous said they avoid anything Miss June makes with mayonnaise because she is known to leave opened jars on her kitchen table and eat a big spoonful several times a day for her health, licking the spoon clean before returning it back into the jar.
Investigations into the matter are ongoing.
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