Hello, beautiful people.
Today I want to address myself to all the women in the entire world.
¿What is that makes men so unique to us? Is it their personality, education, hobbies, physical appearance, sexuality, and so on...¿
¿Why are we so attracted to things we don't understand and half wicked men? Is it because we see the truth behind their fantastical featured character and try to help them out because the only thing we ever want is to put some perspective on their shit¿
¿Are we really stuck between " I want to love me back as I love him because he has to be mine, no matter what he does to me" because of our insecurities and fear of being alone, and " Fuck it... I only live once. I've got nothing to lose, everything to gain. I'm not afraid of what's coming!"¿
¿Why are we desperately spending our lives running after stubborn men who'll never see us for who we really are, regardless of what we do to prove them that not everything is a game!¿
¿Is it worth chasing someone to whom you constantly have to prove your loyalty, so you don't get to question theirs? Or do we move on, without regretting our decision, to stop us from taking too many risks just to be together with some asshole, and be happy¿
Ladies... We only have the chance to live just once, not more. If there's something that I've learned throughout life is that you can't pound common sense into men who can't see further than their ego. I really do try to see the best in men, but seriously, it's so damn hard when you're seen as nothing more than a pleaser to their needs. We've all been through situations where trying to engage in specific topics, about facts that bother us and not them, lead to their illegitimate feeling of being the victim instead of the bully. For example, in a past discussion with my ex T, when I asked why he didn't call me back after I call him so many times and text him saying that my dad was dead (on my birthday), he vanished and replied the second day afternoon. His answer left me with no words, but I'll let you be the judges. So I better quote him:
" No need to get all pissy when I don't write you back in an hour, M... you're not the most diligent answerer or messager either... and this is how it feels: broken and mistrustful!"
As you can imagine, he picked the worst time ever to be selfish, adding more pain to my grief. In his frustrating attempt at avoiding this particular conversation, he chose to short-cut it and point out that I'm the only one to blame because I spent more time with my dying dad than with him on the phone. (him not knowing what I was doing and with whom).
"Not a smart-ass move, T. You're crossing some blurred lines, and it's starting to get hazy" ...and it did. We're not together anymore, but in a gray area between what it was and possible future friendship.
Gentlemen, I think it's wise to recognize that we live in an advanced era where showing a bit of guilt will help you gain points instead of heading into a tirade that will end your relationship for good. Nobody likes to be unheard or invalidated, right?! Just like me, try to keep in mind that sometimes the inside counts more than the outside.
I'm one of those cute girls with an innocent look, but always ready to punch you in the face if you disrespect me. I'm also not in a rush to find my crush ... I have a sexually assaulted past that holds me from reclaiming my complete sexuality, and abstinence doesn't bother me (entirely satisfied by my dildos). I search for men who fulfill me because I'm sick and tired of golden-boys who offers a night-stand (even though my doctor recommended it). That's why I'm patient, selective, and especially judgemental in finding the one man who'll just understand my behavior without trying to justify it. I don't want you guys to be confused, believing that I'm that kind of person who sleeps with the next guy who'll marry me. I AM NOT!!! I'm just trying to gain clarity over men's behavior, and learn some more about how to help them enlarge what's giving to them. Anyway...
Ladies, our happiness is how we choose to create it, not how others build it for us. Love is all-seeing and accepting, and if you're the only one who keeps the relationship moisturized... well, find a god damn way to initiate a split!
Stay positive, stay strong, ladies. Do more of what you love.
Send you all lots of kisses and good vibes.
M