Brown Sugar calling
"Ring Ring" "Ring Ring"
She watched her phone ring for the first few seconds; his calls made her ecstatic; she craved every moment with him. He was her source of joy and everything she'd wanted and wished for but now, It sent chills down her throat and for the first time ever, it's vibration on her bed terrified her. So terrified that her heart raced so loud that she could hear it bang. She pulled the phone to her chest and with tears in her eyes, she allowed it ring till it stopped, she cried the more.
"after 3 days, he'd finally called to end things" she thought.
She didn't want that, She'd never live with herself if he left. He was the reason for her existence. He rescued her from the shackles of pain and agony.
In a time when all she understood was hurt and depression... I mean, she was totally suicidal, He'd shown her what true love was all about.. It was in his embrace and every cuddle, the manner with which he looked at her, the sacrifices he'd made were mouthwatering. He was perfect for her, she sensed misery without him and didn't want to go through that. A life without him was her greatest fear for his love kept her breathing, literally.
The phone rang a second time on her chest.. She stared at the caller ID for a while, picked up the phone and stayed mute.
'Hello Kitty, are you there? ' he broke the silence.
"hi.. Good evening " she managed to keep it brief to conceal her emotions...
"are you free for dinner tonight?" he asked calmly.
"yes "
"I'd pick you up by 7pm"..
She shouldn't have told him... It'd made everything awkward between them... All the terrible things she'd done in her past... Terrible things no one knew and no one would forgive for she couldn't forgive herself... Terrible things she'd chosen to bury but she spilled them all to him and what was she thinking? It was all over and he was going to send her to hell after dinner ... He'd kept her in the dark for long enough, it was judgement day and she'd to brace herself for the worse..
"you look perfect tonight" he'd finally broken the silence.. It was an intense evening for them both... She'd successfully kept her emotions in check...
"I know you've done some very bad things in your past"... He continued as she broke down in tears... Her lips wobbled gently... "you've given yourself to other people.. You've been used, abused and misused.. You've been an addict of immorality ... You're not perfect for Me... For anyone... " his words were like a double edged sword cutting deep in to her soul... She broke down in tears...
"I'm... Sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm so.." she muttered...
"I forgive you... " his voice was stern and sharp.. "I forgive you and I know that's not you anymore... I love you.. I love you for you.. The real you... One I have come to know and I want to be with... I want to be with you " her eyes popped and jaw dropped when he took her, planted his right knee to the ground and said...
"will you marry me? " the diamond crested ring caught her eyes... He'd finally mended her broken heart... She felt complete and whole again..
*If you've ever felt unqualified and unworthy, this is exactly what God is saying to you.. If you've ever felt so dirty and damaged.. Worthless and covered in so much filth probably by stuffs that you might have done or that you do that you cannot communicate with God anymore.. You do not feel his presence anymore... You're just not worth it, so you stop reaching out to him... Heck! If you've ever felt unqualified, God is saying that he forgives you, he wants you... He wants you forever and still craves fellowship with you...
You do not need to fix yourself before appearing before him.. He wants to fix you.. Unlike man, He's ready to forgive and forget... To give you a second chance... God makes use of damaged vessels for his glory... It's what makes him God.. His glory makes him God... We runaway, we give ourselves to other gods but he still loves and desires us because our unfaithfulness cannot outweigh his faithfulness... Our imperfections and flaws cannot outweigh his perfection... With him, we're not justified by how many times we slip and fall but by our ability to rise and keep growing.
Finally, the most beautiful thing about this is the fact that God doesn't just give second chances; he gives third, forth, fifth, sixth and so on, he forgives you, knowing full well that you are human