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Episode 15
Scene 1
The Flocking Festival on Planet Bling has just finished. Blackjack and his crew have returned to The Blazing Muffin. The Fireflies appear on the outside of the ship
Fireflies: Hello again. May we come aboard?
Blackjack: As long as you have that magic donut.
The Fireflies beam themselves into The Blazing Muffin. They reveal a small donut, no more than a few inches in diameter.
Pokher: That’s it?
Fireflies: It’s a miniature version of the one you experienced before.
Pixel: How does it work?
Fireflies: The same as your previous experience. All of you must focus your mental energy on where you want to go, and you and your ship will be transported.
Blue: We have very little information on the outer galaxies. How will we know where to go?
Fireflies: I’ll also install galactic maps in The Blazing Muffin’s computer. Keep in mind that there are still many parts of the universe uncharted.
Computer: Oh, sure, just install things in me without asking. You treat me like I’m some kind of object.
Pokher: You’re a computer. You are an object.
Computer: I object to being an object.
Blackjack: Chill out, computer. Do I need to run diagnostics on you?
Computer: Sorry, I was just bored while you guys were away.
Fireflies: I’ll also install your new weapon before I go.
Pixel: One more thing. Are there others like me in the outer galaxies?
Fireflies: The Verse are in all known galaxies. Have you never met another?
Pixel: Just once, in the Dragon Nebula.
Fireflies: The Verse are more numerous in the outer galaxies, so I’m sure you’ll meet more. Goodbye to all of you. Perhaps we’ll meet again.
Fireflies flash and disappear.
Blackjack: Well, let’s take a look at those galactic charts and figure out where to go first.
Scene 2
After focusing for a few seconds, The Blazing Muffin and crew arrive in The Cigar Galaxy. They are alarmed to find themselves on a wild trajectory that they don’t control.
Blackjack: Computer, what’s wrong?!
Computer: We’re slowly being pulled into something resembling a black hole.
Blackjack: Sounds bad!
Computer: It is!
Blackjack: Pixel, Max Zip away from that thing!
Computer: I wouldn’t recommend that.
Pokher: Why not?
Pixel: It might rip the ship apart. I’ll start with Zip Factor One just to test the waters.
Blue: You said it resembles a black hole?
Computer: Yeah, it has similar properties, but it’s not black. It has a checkered, black and white pattern.
Tom: It looks like a black and white checkerboard! It’s a checker hole!
Pokher: Kind of irrelevant at the moment!
Blue: Don’t forget that we have the DeDensifier. Maybe that could weaken it.
Blackjack: Do it, Pixel!
Pixel’s particles split in half and he goes to the weapons control panel.
Pixel: Is the DeDensifier online?
Computer: Just a moment, it’s calibrating!
Blackjack: We might not have a moment!
Computer: Ok, give it a shot.
Pixel: Firing DeDensifier at the checker hole.
A faint flickering appears to roll through the checker hole.
Pixel: I think it’s working! We’re starting to gain control.
Blackjack: Well, that’s a relief. Computer, what’s our location? Are we near our intended destination?
Computer: We are 1,288 light years from Planet Tango.
Pokher: What? There must be something wrong with the donut.
Computer: Oh, sure, blame the technology, not the user.
Blue: Wait a minute. (pause) Didn’t Firefly tell us that we all had to focus on the destination?
Pokher: Yeah. What are you getting at?
Blue: If anyone lost focus or thought about something else, maybe it could throw off the accuracy of the donut.
Pixel: Did anyone lose focus?
Everybody emphatically says no, except for Tom, who has an uncomfortably sheepish look on his face.
Blackjack: Tom, did you think of anything else?
Tom (shameful): I thought about your sister.
Blackjack (appalled): Can’t take you humans anywhere! What was I thinking?
Tom: The good news is we survived the checker hole.
Pokher: Computer, what’s the nearest planet with sentient life?
Computer: Based on the maps from Firefly, we’re just 17 light years from Planet Deepscorch.
Blue: Sounds inviting.
Blackjack: Well, we can use the donut again and see if it takes us to Planet Tango this time, or we can spend a couple hours getting to Planet Deepscorch.
Pokher: I think that’s enough donut for one day.
Everyone gives Tom disapproving looks.
Blackjack: Ok, Deepscorch it is.
Scene 3
The Blazing Muffin is approaching Deepscorch. Half the world is ocean, and the other half is desert.
Tom: Much more beautiful than I expected.
Blackjack: Computer, there is sentient life here?
Computer: Initial scans indicate a fairly primitive culture. There are no artificially created signals or frequencies that I can detect. There appear to be steam-powered, seafaring vessels. There is nothing in flight or orbit. (pause) Hmmm, that’s funny.
Pokher: What is it?
Computer: There are two different sentient life readings. One is primarily focused on water, and the other in the desert.
Blue: Two distinct civilizations?
Computer: Perhaps.
Blackjack: Is the atmosphere ok for us?
Computer: With your normal breath and gravity adapters, you should be fine. Keep yourselves cool, though. It’s between 100 and 155F across the planet right now.
Blackjack: Where the desert meets the water, is it inhabited?
Computer: It is, but not as dense as on the water. And that’s the coolest spot, too. It’s 100 thanks to the ocean breeze.
Blackjack: Well, let’s go have a look.
Pokher: You want to land or beam down?
Blackjack: Better stay in orbit and beam down. I don’t want any locals getting at my ship on day one. I wanna see how they are first.
Pixel: I’ll stay and guard the ship. If you find it hospitable, then I’ll land and have a look with you.
Blackjack: That’ll work.
Pixel arranges the controls and beams them down to the surface.
Scene 4
Blackjack, Pokher, and Tom rematerialize on a beach in a high coastal desert. There are a number of strange, twisting plants and trees sparsely dotting the landscape. They see signs of artificial design and construction on the horizon.
Blackjack: Looks like a town up ahead. Feel like a walk?
Tom: In this heat?
Pokher: Use your cooling band.
Tom (upset): Ugh, I knew I forgot something!
Blackjack: Blackjack to Pixel. Beam down a cooling band for Tom.
A cooling band materializes and falls near Tom.
There is a rustling sound in a nearby cluster of tall, spiraling trees.
Pokher: What was that?
There is a feline scream followed by a thud. A large cat emerges and dusts itself off.
Tom: Is that a cat?
Blackjack: It appears to have feline qualities.
Tom: Cats are horrible with trees on earth, too.
Pokher: Is it friendly?
Cat: Are you friendly?
Blackjack: Looks like our translators are working.
Tom: Is it wearing a ruffled shirt and a cavalier hat?
Cat: I’m male, not an it. And who or what the heck are you?
Blackjack: We’re not from here.
Cat: Yeah, I can tell. You’re all weird-looking. Except for the fat bird. You look delicious.
Another cat falls from the tree and startles the group.
Cat 2: Leave them alone, Scratch.
Tom: Your name is Scratch? What are the odds of that!?
Scratch: Totally common name here.
Cat 2: Let’s get back to town, Scratch. It’ll be dark soon.
Blackjack: Can we come to town with you? We have things we can trade.
Cat 2: Like what?
Blackjack (searching): Like that band he’s wearing. Give him your band, Tom.
Tom: What?! (pause) Oh, ok.
Tom gives the band to Cat 2.
Tom: Put it around your head.
Cat 2 reluctantly does so.
Cat 2 (ecstatic): Oh, relief! It feels so cool! (looks at Blackjack) Name’s Plush.
Tom (dumbfounded): Ah, come on!
Plush: Let’s go to town.
Scene 5
Pixel is doing some research on the local star system.
Computer: I just picked up a signal for a split second.
Pixel: What kind of signal?
Computer: It had the frequency of the Mosquito Armada.
Meanwhile, on a ship of The Mosquito Armada…..
Commander Bitus Minimus: What happened, soldier?
Soldier: One of our ships had a cloaking malfunction and the ship blew up. It happens like ten percent of the time.
Bitus Minimus: Lord Emperor President Chancellor Dominus Khan thinks that to be a perfectly acceptable loss rate, so it must be ok.
Soldier: Yes, sir.
Bitus Minimus: Have we been detected?
Soldier: It appears so.
Bitus Minimus: Get all available ships to board the enemy vessel at once, and get me Stingus Maximus on a long-range communication relay.
Soldier: Yes, sir.
Scene 6
Blackjack, Pokher, Tom, Blue, Scratch, and Plush have been walking for half an hour. The sentient cats have been telling them about their world.
Blackjack: So most of you live on the ocean?
Plush: Yes, we are mostly seafaring cats.
Scratch: But many have been moving back to the land recently. Like our families.
Pokher: But thousands of years ago, there was a mass migration of cats off the land and into the ocean because of a threat?
Plush: Yes, we have been repressed by the Cacti desert dwellers for most of our history. We fled to the oceans to gain more freedom and survive.
Tom: But now relations are getting better?
Scratch: The best they’ve ever been, as far as we know.
Blackjack: And why is that?
Plush: Largely due to the knowledge given to us by the Philosopher Purr-Meez.
Tom: Purr-Meez?
Suddenly, there is a flash and trillions of nano-particles materialize in front of the group. The particles shift into the shape of a glowing cat.
Plush: Purr-Meez!
Blackjack (confused): That’s Purr-Meez?
Purr-Meez: You have to get back to your ship now!
End Season 1
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